Til Death Do Us Part
by VA.writer-25
Summary: Rose Hathaway is bonded with none other that her used to be best friend turned douche bag, Dimitri Ivaskov. She she battles with him to admit that he loves her can she also battle the ones trying to take him away.  Story is better than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

**I am extremely sad to say that the laptop with all my stories written on it got a virus and all my chapters that I'd started writing were deleted. I've lost all my ideas for Last Sacrifice which is why I've deleted the story. I promise I'm going to try to update more and I will be posting a new chapter of Breaking A Rose soon! This is a new story to make up for deleting Last Sacrifice. Please read and Review.**

Hands running up and down my body. I couldn't control my breathing or heart rate. I was sweating everywhere and it felt great. Free. The one feeling I never truly had in my life. You want to know why? Because I'm not the one feeling free. I'm not the one breathing uncontrollably or having perfectly manicured hands running all over my body. It's Dimitri Ivaskov's, the spoiled royal Moroi who happened to save my life and caused me to be boned to him. Sounds wonderful right, well it's not. We grew up together since birth, my mom was his dad's guardian so were always together and became best friends. Once we got into high school things changed, he got into partying, sleeping around, and all the other things royals do. Don't get me wrong I have nothing wrong with partying, I happen to do it myself, but not only has it changed things between us, it's changed him.

"Ms. Hathaway, would you care to answer the question?" Stan Alto's voice cut through my haze and pulled me out of Dimitri's head.

"Uhhhhh…" I stuttered, not only could I not remember the question but I was still traumatized from Dimitri and Avery Lazar's mad sex scene.

"Just what I thought," Stan sighed, "Rose this is the third time this week you have 'zoned out'" he quoted my words from when this happened yesterday "in my class. Go to the office." He pointed to the door with a pissed look on his face and I didn't even want to argue.

I stormed out and found myself trudging through the cool day air (night for humans) to the Ivaskov's personal house on campus. When I got there I didn't even bother knocking I just used the key I'd been given a long time ago. "DIMTRI!" I yelled at his door. "Open the damn door now or so help me God I chop off your dick and shove it so far down your throat so far you chock on it and die!"

"You don't even believe in God," Dimitri said as he opened the door. Thankfully he hadn't gone far enough with Avery to loose his boxers so he stood in front of me shirtless, sweating, and with sex hair.

I rolled my eyes as I shoved past him, grabbed Avery's cloths, and threw them at her, "Get dressed and get out." She was about to say something but the death glare I quickly gave her shut her up. I turned to Dimitri who was leaning on the wall smirking, "Get dressed then meet me in the kitchen." I started to walk out but turned back, "And don't even think about starting up where you left off."

"Too late," Dimitri chuckled as he slammed the door in my face.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting in the kitchen eating all of Dimitri's favorite cereal, Reeses Puffs, when Dimitri's cousin Adrian walked in. "Hey Rose, didn't expect you to be here."

"I wasn't expecting to be here," I grumbled with my mouth full. Adrian just laughed as he grabbed a spoon then pulled up a bar stool next to me and began eating the cereal out of my bowl. Usually people eating my food would make me mad but this was Adrian and that's why I loved him. Things were simple with us, he wasn't scared to piss me off or tell me straight up that I was being a bitch like other people, he was just Adrian to me and I was just Rose to him. To him I wasn't just that chick bonded to his cousin or _that_ girl everyone always talked about, and to me he wasn't _that_ guy everyone always talked about or the crazy drinking partier.

"So little dhampir, how ha your day been?" He smiled at me with milk running down the side of his mouth and cereal pieces all over his mouth.

"Well I wound up here talking to Dimitri, so pretty damn horrible."

Adrian sighed as he put down his spoon and looked me in the eyes. "What did he do now?"

"This is the third time this week he's hooked up with someone just during Stan's class and I've been pulled into his head every time and I can't help it! So what exactly am I supposed to do? Because I can't learn with him doing this to me and if I can't learn I won't be prepared to protect him and if I can't protect him then he's going to die and if he dies what am I going to do?" I looked at the floor and took a deep breath to calm down. Adrian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug as I just let all my anger out. Not only had Dimitri been torturing me with his sex life but something had been bothering him to the point where I can no longer control the darkness that flows into me from him.

"Rose you are so strong, you'll get through this. I'm always here for you and I would never let you go through this alone." He kissed my hair and ran his fingers through it.

This was one our perfect moments. This was one of those moments where I wished I was bonded to Adrian instead of Dimitri. He cared about me and he wasn't afraid to show it. He let me vent to him and in return he talked to me and let me in when he didn't want anyone to see him. We were perfect for each other and these were the moments I always wanted to shared with the guy I loved… too bad it wasn't Adrian. And too bad someone always ruins these moments.

"Enough with the sob fest," Avery's annoying voice made me and Adrian pull apart. "You can stop crying over how crappy your life is and get over yourself. Just because your life isn't as amazing as mine doesn't mean you have to be so jelly."

I stood up and thank the God I don't really believe in that I hadn't started crying while Adrian was holding me. "First of all, Avery, I'm not jealous of you. Second, I have not reason to be. And third, how did you pass the third grade no one says 'jelly' in high school."

"Obvi I say jelly so someone does. And you're jelly I have Dimitri." She smirked at me and giggled.

"Why would I be jealous you're Dimitri's slut? I get enough of him as it is."

"Whatever, he would never fuck you!"

"That's not what I meant you twit! I meant—"

"Rose," Adrian cut me off, I looked back at him and he had a desperate look on his face. I guess I should mention no one outside of our families knows me and Dimitri are bonded except for Lissa, because she's a spirit user too so she could see the bond in our auras, also because she's my best friend and I needed someone to vent to. I thanked God again when Avery's phone rang and she ran out the door, that's three times in one day I've mention God and that's what I'd like to call progress. "Dang she needs to stop watching Awkward, I hate when people talk like that." I looked at Adrian after he said that and we both bust out laughing.

"What are you two so happy about?" Ladies and gentleman evil incarnate has arrived in nothing but flannel plaid pajama pants. "What the fuck happened to all my cereal?"

"We ate it." I said looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Who's we?" He asked.

I turned to look back at Adrian only to find he wasn't there. He was walking up the staircase to his room. "Adrian? You said you wouldn't let me go through this alone!"

"I meant the other 'this'," he looked back at me and smiled before slamming his door shut.

I sighed and looked back at Dimitri who was smirking at me, "What?"

"I don't know, you were the one who showed up here, ruined my sex, and ate my cereal." He walked over to the living room and plopped on the leather couch. "You tell me what."

"I would have already told you if you bothered to listen." I said dejectedly as I walked over to sit in the chair across from the couch.

"I'm sorry what did you say, I wasn't listening." He chuckled at his own joke.

"This isn't funny Dimitri!" I yelled as I stood up. "You _never_ listen to me. I'm always putting up with your crap. Especially you constantly fucking the one girl you know I cannot stand. Keeping your secret so everyone won't know you saved _that_ girl. And I'm not even sure why you did because I know for a fat you don't care about me. You haven't cared since we became bonded and that's not my fault so I'm not sure why you hate me. But ever since then you've treated me like shit and I have done nothing but put up with it. Dimitri this was _your_ choice, I never asked for it, and honestly I really wish you'd let me die rather than put up wit everything you've done to me." I finished and there were so many tears running down my eyes that I could barely see. The darkness was leaving me and I felt so relieved for finally saying everything I'd needed, but I was also reliving all of the pain he'd put me through. So many emotions were running through me, and not just my own, but his as well. I couldn't process all of it and I couldn't stand to be here or near Dimitri for one more second, so I did the only thing I could. I ran.


	2. Chapter 2

**I can't believe how many people have already reviews and are following this story. Thank you for all the support and heres the next chapter! :)**

It had been hours since I ran away from the Ivaskov wing all the way to my room. Lissa had come by a few hours ago and begged me to open the door for her, but I just couldn't. I wasn't stable and I didn't want her to see me like this. I had make up all over my face, my hair was a mess, and all I had done since leaving Dimitri's was put on short shorts and a hoodie. This wasn't how I wanted to tell my best friend that I'd finally snapped at the guy I liked.

I sat on my bed looking through a photo album Dimitri's parents had given me one year as a Christmas present. It was a beautiful rose red color with gold embroidering of roses all over the cover, however what was on the inside was what I loved more. Pages and pages of pictures of me and Dimitri from when we were born to a few years ago. In pictures he could pretend to like me and for that I was grateful. I let out a humorless laugh at one picture from a few winters ago.

I had gone with him and Adrian to their family estate for Christmas break and we were outside playing in the snow. Dimitri and I had actually gotten along that day while Adrian went off with some girl he'd met at a bar the night before. We made a snow man together and had a snow ball fight and made snow angels. Somehow when we were making snow angels his mother, Olena, had wound up getting a picture of us lying together and smiling. And it wasn't one of those fake smiles that you see people who hate each other do, it was real. One of the only real things in our friendship.

I was startled by a knock on my balcony door. I looked over and had a sad idea of who is was and was really considering not answering it. However seeing a his family was the reason I had such an amazing room with said balcony door, I bet he had a key to get in. I sighed as I got up and wiped my eyes as I walked over to open the door.

There he was, Dimitri, the one person I didn't want to see right now and as I was about to open my mouth to tell him this he stopped me.

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><p><strong>I know it's short, but I'll post more tomorrow and I want everything to just sink in for now :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"Can I just say one thing before you make me leave?" He asked looking at me as if he'd die if I said no. But how could I say yes? He'd broken me completely and hadn't even bothered to chase me; he just let me run away. How could I let him destroy me worse? How could I let him still have such power over me that I doubted I could ever resist him?

I couldn't look him I the eyes; it just hurt me to much to see him in such agony. Looking down I mumbled, "You've already said enough." My hand started to close the door even though all I really wanted to do was hear him out, but I just couldn't. This just wasn't fair. Either he hurt me or I hurt myself because I hurt him. There was never a way I would escape all this unscarred.

"Rose wait, just—" His hand caught mine on the door and I yanked mine away.

All my emotions flared from his touch and I couldn't hold anything in anymore. "How could you ask anything of me right now? Are you really that stupid to think that just because I've yelled at you already that we're ever gonna be ok? Dimitri you and I are never going to be ok! Things between us are never going to be normal and I'm always going to get hurt! No matter what it'll never be you because I'm trained to make it me that gets hurt. I'm taught since birth that no matter what if there's a stake aimed at you I have to take it. Even if it won't kill you I still have to die. But I don't need to be told that because I'd do it anyway you know why? Because even after everything you've done to me, you still saved my life. Though I don't know why or even if you meant to you still did. I owe you and no matter what I do, no matter what the price is for me, it'll never be enough for you. Nothing is ever enough because I can't give you what you want, it can't be who you want, what you want I… I just can't.

I'm not royal, I'm nothing special and I never will be, to you or anyone. No one will talk to me because they all think you hate me and even if they're my friends if you told them to burn me at the stake they all would. Because you're Dimitri Ivaskov, future king, and I'm just _that_ girl. The one that will always stand in that background and wait. Wait until someone tries to kill you and at which point they will finally kill me and we'll both be free. You to just go one with life and finally not have someone ruining your sex life. And me finally be dead like I'm supposed to be." I finally stopped and realized that we were both crying. And not just a couple of tears running down our cheeks crying, but bawling. I could barely breath and his eyes were red; I wanted to crawl into a ball for a few years and just be depressed and he looked like hell walking.

But no matter how horrible we both felt, no matter how terrible we both looked, I knew I'd feel even worse if I didn't say one final thing. "Dimitri, I know you know how I felt about you. I know that there's a reason you're doing the things you've done. And I know that you'll probably never tell me why, but… Can't you just stop? All I ever wanted was to protect you, that's what I was raised to do, but I can't do that if I'm constantly being distracted by your life. I realized today that if anything happened to you I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But I just… I need to be able to focus on what _I_ need to be doing this year not what or who you're doing."

He looked down at his feet and I could see the tears felling onto the ground into the snow that I hadn't even noticed were there. "All I wanted to tell you was that you'd left your purse in my house and to give it back to you…" His voice was so weak as he drooped my purse onto the floor that my heart stopped. I'd just told him everything that I'd been holding in for so long and everything that I'd always wanted him to hear, but how come I felt like the world biggest asshole? Did the torture never end? Was I doomed to a life of hurting? All because I was bonded to the one person that I wanted nothing more than to love forever?

"Dimitri I—"

"No Rose you're right. I was—am the worlds biggest ass, but you honestly think that you're worth so little that they'd all turn against you because of me?"

"They all have Dimitri." My voice cracked as he looked me in the eyes with that looked that made me feel as if he could see through me.

As he spoke he stepped into my room and began gesturing with his hands. "Not everyone. Not the people that should matter to you. Not my stupid cousin who would do anything for you, or Lissa, or Mason, or Eddie. Everyone else can screw themselves, because they shouldn't matter." There was fire returning to his eyes and courage in his words, he almost sounded as if he was the King and I was just a subject.

"No one else does matter except you! Or at least you did." I sighed and shook my head as a little more of his hard exterior melted away and I almost could see the way he used to look at me in those beautiful brown eyes.

"No I didn't." Those three words was all it took for my world to shatter. Tears started to pool in my eyes again and I could almost feel my heart shatter. "You made it clear that you were raised to love me and that the only reason you stuck around to 'protect me' was because you owe me. I mean no more to you than anyone else."

"How dare you. _How dare you tell me I never cared about you!_"

"You didn't! All I am to you is a debt that needs to be paid."

"That's not true and you know it!"

"Of course it is Rose what other reason could you possibly have for putting up with me! I'm a douche and I'm not good to you so why waste your time?"

"You know why!"

"Say it!"

"Because I love you!" Both of us were out of breath and painting in one another's faces. His face was inches from mine and his body so close I could feel his heat. "I. Love. You." I couldn't function with him so close to me; it was like suffocation on happiness. There was nothing left for me to say. Nothing I could do. This was all up to Dimitri and from the look in his eyes he knew it.

He spent what felt like hours looking at me and then did what I'd been waiting for ever since I'd become a hormonal teenager… he kissed me. He kissed me with more passion and more love than anyone had ever kissed me before. Dimitri kissed me like I meant more than air to him, more than life. Of course guys that I've been with have claimed they loved me more than anything, but Dimitri made me believe he loved me more than his life. His hand snaked around my waist and yanked me into him while his other tangled into my hair and pressed my mouth on to his more. This feeling was more than I'd imagined, more than I'd ever felt, more than I could process… I was so incredibly happy, so intensely overwhelmed by emotion that I did the one thing that could possibly ruin this moment for us… I blacked out.

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><p><strong>the more reviews i get the faster it will be updated :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**tada! review :)**

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><p>My eyes opened to a white ceiling and an annoying beeping was ringing in my ear. Slowly I looked around to realize I was alone in the hospital wing. I mentally groaned and cautiously sat up then all my memories flooded back to me. Yelling at Dimitri, him saying I didn't care, me telling him I loved him, and him kissing me. Taking it all in was kind of a shock because I could hardly believe it happened. I mean Dimitri and I kissed! That alone made I smile spread across my face, but where was he? You would think he'd want to be here when I woke up but he wasn't.<p>

I reached through the bond and found him sitting on his bed reading some western book. Well that was normal, but why couldn't he just read it here and be with me? Wow, I sounded like some crazy controlling girl friend, we hadn't even decided what we were going to do yet and I already wanted him waiting on me. I decided that I would just go see him once I was out of here and I was just about to leave him when someone walked out of his bathroom. He looked up to see Avery standing there wearing his shirt –which I now realized he wasn't—and a thong. She sat next to Dimitri who was only in boxers and began to nip at his neck. That was enough for me, I pulled out of his head and back into the hospital.

"Rose," Dr. Olendzki looked at me with concern, "are you ok?" I shook my head as I looked at the floor because that was all I could do. Tears pushed at the back of my eyes, but I couldn't let them fall, not here. "Ok, well you're free to go. Just no strenuous work for a couple days." I looked up and she smiled at me so I smiled back weakly. Then I hopped off the bed and walked out to the forest near the edge of the campus.

Once I was secluded in the trees I leaned against one and slip all the way done. My face fell into my hands while my elbows rested on my knees and I just breathed in and out. The pain was unbelievable. Had I imagined last night? Was Dimitri playing with me? Or was I just stupid enough to think he actually cared about me? Thoughts like that ran though my head nonstop as I just sat in the cluster of trees. I must have lost track of time because by the time I'd stop thinking the sun was about to rise which meant it was almost curfew. I stood up, brushed all the leaves and snow off me, then started walking to my room.

I was nearly thee when someone called my name and I turned to find none other than Dimitri Ivashkov. My jaw clinched as he walked over to where I stopped and just looked at him. "What?" The words came out sounding a little more pissed than I wanted, but he deserved it so I didn't feel bad.

Dimitri looked taken aback but shook it off, "Adrian's been looking for you all day."

"You knew where I was you could've told him." At this point I was just trying to keep from yelling at him so I kept my answer short then turned to walk away.

He caught my arm before I even took two steps and I looked back at him. "Rose don't do this," he pleaded.

"Why not? I mean you kiss me then I see you with Avery in your room so I mean how should I act?"

Dimitri pulled his hand back and looked at the ground, "Rose what happened last night it shouldn't have happened at all."

I pulled my lips together between my teeth to keep from attacking him and tried not to show how hurt I was. "Of course because you're royal, I'm not. You're important, I'm not. You are Dimitri Ivashkov and I'm _that_ girl." A humorless laugh escaped my lips as I just looked at him.

"Rose it's not that I just—"

"Save it Dimitri," I cut him off. "I've had enough disappointment from you to last a life time." With that I walked away to my room and slammed my door. I was done with Dimitri. Friends, that's all we'd be –if we could even manage that. I _wanted_ to hate him, I really did, but I just couldn't. Yes, I was furious, but not enough to hate him. Maybe it was because I knew we'd never work out. Or I never truly believed he liked me anyway. But for whatever reason I wasn't going to waste my time crying or hurting over him anymore. I'd move on to someone better, someone who actually cared about me. Someone like—

"Rose open the door!" He knocked rapidly.

I walked over and open the door to find none other than Adrian. "Hey." I gave him a weak smile and moved so he could come in then shut the door.

"Come here," he opened his arms to me and I walked into them. His arms held me tightly as I buried my face into his chest. Adrian rubbed small circles into my back and we just stood there together because it was just that simple. Things were easy with Adrian, almost natural. We could have a conversation without saying a word or spend hours together talking about nothing and everything at the same time. I knew him like the back of my hand without a stupid bond and he knew me exactly the same way. He was perfect and because of Dimitri I had failed to see that. I needed someone who could care about me for once, and could be there for me, and wouldn't always put himself first. I needed Adrian and here he was just like always. Ever since the bond it'd never been Dimitri to comfort me or just be with me. It was always Adrian and I was so stupid for never seeing it before.

"Adrian," I mumbled into him.

"Yeah?" He mumbled into my hair.

"Do you ever think about _us_?" I looked up into his beautiful green eyes. "You know, being together."

He smiled at me and let out a small chuckle, "Baby steps, little dhampir. You can't be over my cousin and into me all in one night."

I smiled and shook my head at him, "Adrian, I'm serious." I then jokingly pushed him and he wound up falling on my bed.

"Woahhh there Rose, at least buy me a drink first!" He held up his hands as if to keep me away and I just laughed.

"Adrian!" He laughed as I flopped on to the bed with him. Then he turned on the TV and we spent the rest of the night watching whatever was on and talking about anything we could think of.

It was nearly three in the morning when we were both finally tired and Adrian decided it was time for him to go. I walked him over to my balcony door where he could take the stair to the ground and walk to the Ivashkov wing without being seen. He smiled down at me as I opened the door for him and kissed my forehead, "To answer your earlier question, yes. I do think about us together. And maybe some day we will be." That being said he walked out into the day light and down the stairs then headed to his home. I then closed the door and couldn't wipe a smile off my face until I fell asleep.

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><p>The next week was actually bearable. Dimitri avoided me and didn't pull me into his head at all, which was fantastic. Adrian and I spent all of our free time together and he even asked me to the dance tonight. I wasn't planning on going –which he was ok with—but when Lissa hear he'd asked she wouldn't let us not go.<p>

Now we were currently sitting in my room getting ready and waiting on our dates. Lissa had curled my hair, put on some light make up to match my black skin tight dress that came to mid-thigh and blood red heels, then instructed me to sit on my bed and do nothing so I wouldn't mess anything up. With my help Lissa had pinned all her hair up into a beautiful bun and done her make up to match her amazing emerald green dress that matched her eyes perfectly also came to mid-tight and showed of her thin figure that she paired with some light tan heels that matched her skin tone. She'd just barely put the finishing touches to her outfit when there was a knock on my door.

Lissa smiled at me and squealed, "They're here!"

I laughed at her as she skipped to the door and opened it. She greeted Adrian then turned all her attention to her own date Aaron –who she'd stolen from some girl named Mia or whatever. Adrian had my full attention in his black slacks and white button up with the first few buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to right at his elbows. He smiled at me in approval as I walked up to him and hugged him. "Hi," I smiled when we pulled away.

"Hi yourself, little dhampir you look hot." I laughed and slapped him in the arm. "Ow! What? It's true." I blushed as he threw his arm over my shoulders and we started walking to the dance.

"So what's the plan for after the party?" I asked looking up at him.

"I was thinking we go to one of the many after parties, then if we're not too drunk to function we can head back to my place and watch one of my many assortment of movies." He explained enthusiastically.

"Sounds perfect." I smiled. It was then I realized I'd been smiling a lot this week, and it was all thanks to Adrian. He really was a great guy and I had found myself worrying less and less about Dimitri. Yes, Dimitri was always a lingering thought in my mind because of course I was going to be his guardian and I am bonded to him. But I was allowed to have a boyfriend and that was what I considered Adrian even though it wasn't official.

"Rose, dance with me!" Lissa yanked me away from my date and on to the floor of people. We danced and laughed for a while until she spotted someone and excused herself. I watched as she walked over to a dark haired guy –who I recognized as Christian Ozera—and snuck off into the crowd with him.

I was tempted to follow her when a hand closed around mine, "Trying to run away?" Adrian joked.

I smiled at him, "Never."

We danced together for a few songs until dancing turned into grinding. We were getting very dirty, just like everyone else and very drunk due to waiters constantly walking around with spiked punch.

There was a slight tingle of jealousy in my mind and I didn't understand what it was from until I was pulled into Dimitri's head. He was at the dance –which was unlike him—and looking directly at me. I pulled out of his mind and looked around until I found him. The hurt in his eyes was easy to see, but Avery was also easy to see because she was grinding against him. I had stopped dancing and Adrian noticed. He turned to see what was stopping me and saw his cousin, which no doubt angered him. I looked back at Adrian to see jealousy in his eyes as well, I was about to reassure him there was nothing going on when he kissed me. Not like 'sweet first kiss' kissed me but 'hardcore, inappropriate for public' kissed me.

I shoved him away quickly, "Adrian what the fuck?" I scolded him then looked back to see Dimitri was gone.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? I saw you staring at him Rose. How can you act like you want me all week when you're still in love with him?" He yelled back at me. I knew he was just drunk and wouldn't be saying this if he was sober so I wasn't taking it seriously.

"Adrian, I do want to date you, but I don't want you kissing me just to piss off Dimitri." I kept calm in order to keep him from being pissed and to not slap him for being a dick.

"You still care about him," he looked taken aback and disgusted.

"Of course I do! He's my future charge and—"

"Guard me," he cut me off quickly.

"What?" I asked confused and hoping it was just the alcohol getting to me.

"Be my guardian."

"Adrian, you know I can't. I'm bound to Dimitri."

"No, that's just your excuse so you wouldn't have to be away from him. The truth is you don't want to guard anyone else." Anger flashed in his eyes and I realized that it wasn't just the alcohol that was making him say this; he really was upset about Dimitri and me being bonded.

"Adrian, I can't help that I'm bonded to him but I am and that makes me the best person to guard him." I tried to explain, but I could tell he wasn't listening.

"Whatever," he downed the remained of his drink and walked away.

I gave half a thought to follow him, but thought better of it and realized it would be better to talk when he was sober. I walked around and talked to people for a while then got bored and went outside. I was alone in the moon light and was absentmindedly following a set of large foot prints in the snow. They lead me across campus to the Ivashkov wing and stopped in front of a door I knew well. I sighed at I turned the knob and the door to Dimitri and Adrian's house opened. I walked in then heard yelling and slamming coming from upstairs in Dimitri's room. Quickly I kicked off my heels then ran up the stairs taking two at a time. When I made it to his door I paused for a second wondering if he was having sex, then realized there was only one set of foot prints so I threw open the door and was shocked by what I saw. It was Dimitri –still in his black slacks and black button up with the first two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up—but it was what he was doing that scared me. He was wrecking his room completely. There was a broken mirror on his wall, an overturned nightstand, a chair that had been thrown at the wall, his mattress was flipped on top the floor, and now he was about the throw a vase at the wall.

Without thinking I ran towards him and grabbed his hand with the vase. "Dimitri what are you doing?" But he was so absorbed in what he was doing that when he realized that he couldn't throw the vase he let it go and grabbed something else. That something else just happened to be the last family picture of him and his mother which I knew how much he loved. I dropped the vase safely on his mattress and this time grabbed the frame in one had and his face with the other. "Dimitri stop!" His eyes connected with mine and his grip on the frame weakened a little. "This isn't you. This isn't what you want to do. Ok? You need to stop." I spoke softly to him and slowly he lowered his arm that was ready to throw the picture to his side and let go of the frame all together.

I took it and turned to put it down but his arms flew around my waist holding me close to him, "No!" He shouted sounding so scared. "Please don't leave me Rose."

"I wasn't I was just going to put the frame…" The words died in my mouth as I saw just how vulnerable he was now and realized what he truly meant. "Dimitri I could never leave you." My hand was back on his face now, caressing his cheek, trying to soothe him.

"I just—when I saw you with Adrian I just snapped and then when I was in your head and he asked you to guard him I just couldn't take it. I—Rose you can't leave me," his face fell into my neck and he started to cry, "You can't leave me."

I let the frame drop safely on to the ground then wrapped one arm around his back and the other hand stroked his hair. "Never, Dimitri. I will always be here." I whispered to him and it was true. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from him. I would always be here for him. _I'm never going to leave you_, I thought to him.

Dimitri must have heard me because his tears slowly stopped and then he pulled away from me. "I'm sorry, I don't really know what happened." He wouldn't look at me as he spoke and I knew he was embarrassed for breaking down.

"It's fine. Honestly what else am I for?" I joked and then regretted it when he did look at me with outrage all over his face.

"Rose you deserve more that this! More than me, don't you get that? You deserve someone that makes you happy, not someone that makes you faint from over loading you with emotions, because that's exactly what happened when I kissed you. Someone that doesn't hurt you or disappoint you or randomly snaps when you're with another guy. Someone who isn't out of control like me. Someone that's not me. Rose I'm not good enough for you!" He was gesturing madly with his hands as he spoke, actually more like yelled at me.

"Dimitri that's not your choice." I spoke calmly. "If I want to be with you, if that makes me happy, you should be ok with that. Now if you don't want to be with me I'd understand you acting the way you did last week, but you should have just said so instead of hooking up with Avery."

"Me not want to be with you?" He spat the words out as if they were poison and let out a humorless laugh. "As if that were even possible. Rose you're amazing and you're more perfect that any of the other plastic Barbies here. Better than Avery, better than Lissa or anyone. I'd have to be gay not to want you, and I _want_ you so badly it hurts me. But you deserve better. You deserve better than Adrian as well, because you're not just _hot_, you are _beautiful_. The most beautiful woman inside and out and I just wish you didn't want to be with someone as unworthy as me or Adrian." The way he spoke with so much passion about me, about the way he cared about me it just all made my heart melt.

I brought my hand back to his cheek and smiled, "You're not unworthy Dimitri, please don't ever think that again."

His hand covered mine on his face as he leaned into my palm. "We can argue this another time Roza." He smiled and closed his eyes, "Now I just want to rest."

I started to pull my hand away, a little hurt how he just blew this all off, "Alright well I can—"

His eyes shot open and his hand tightened on mine, "No, I need you to stay with me!"

"Ok." I agreed putting my hand back in place. "But Dimitri you can't stay here, it's a wreck."

He just chuckled in response, "Where else are we going to go?"

"My room," and we did. We grabbed shut his door, grabbed my shoes, and walked hand in hand to my room. Where we watched movies and Dimitri fell asleep lying on my chest right over my heart. Where he always would be.

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><p><strong>i hope everyone's happy! review :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

"So you're saying that I can block you out if I wanted to?" I asked Dimitri as he attempted to clean his room.

"If you concentrated hard enough." He answered as he pushed his dresser back up so it was standing up right.

"And you've know this for how long?" I stood up and started helping him put his cloths back in the dresser.

"A while," he smiled down at me.

A sigh escaped me as I shook my head at him. Dimitri chuckled and pulled me into him causing me to drop the shirts I was holding on to the floor. "Dimitri!" He just laughed more as he backed me into the wall. "Stop we're supposed to be cleaning your room."

"We can do that later," his eyes burned into me as he just stared down at me. One of his hands was by my head on the wall and the other on my hip holding me to him.

"Dimitri," I started to protest but his lips caught mine and all my words were forgotten. It'd been about a week since the whole dance catastrophe. Adrian had been avoiding me completely and as far as I knew he had no idea about me and Dimitri. Which was another thing that had drastically changed this past week. We weren't official yet and no one even knew we were more than friends. To everyone else it just seemed we'd worked out our differences and were just friends. However Dimitri and I spent all our alone time together doing whatever we wanted, mostly making out and talking about our past and the bond. He'd even spent every night in my room, due to the fact we were just now fixing his, but mostly because it was easier having him with me.

Over that time he'd also taught me things he knew about the bond, such as keeping him out of my head and me hearing his thoughts as well as his emotions. Dimitri explained how he pulled me into his head and we'd been working on me purposely going into his mind –but we only would do this for emergencies because we both thought it violated his privacy.

I pulled away from the kiss and Dimitri flashed a sheepish smile at me. "You know you've wanted to kiss me all day. I was just helping with your needs."

"Don't be a dick!" I shoved his arm and laughed. Sadly he'd been right I _did_ want to kiss him and I still wanted to. But I'd never tell him that.

"You don't have to tell me. I can hear you remember?" Dimitri smirked at me and I was about to say some very mean things when his lips attacked mine again. _Just so you know I wanted to kiss you too. _I smiled into the kiss when I heard him and he pulled me closer into him.

I was about the pull away and say something to Dimitri when his door was thrown open and we jerked our lips away from each other. "So I guess you can be over me and into my cousin again in one night." He was glaring at where Dimitri held me to him with his arms around my waist and my back against the wall.

"Adrian I—" I pulled away from Dimitri and took a step to him.

"No, you're just a whore like every other girl he's been with. There's a reason he's never had a relationship with anyone Rose, it's because he's a dick and doesn't know how to treat a girl right. What makes you think you're any different? He's just going to use you and dump you then I'm going to have to pick up the pieces while you are stuck watching him fuck every other girl he can get his hands on. You're no different Rose, you're just some slut—"

"That's enough Adrian!" Dimitri cut him off and moved to stand beside me. "Don't you dare talk to her like that again." He growled.

"Are you really going to put on a show for her so she thinks you care? You know I'm right Dimitri. You'll get bored of her and move on just like usual. She's just like your mother."

The second Adrian insulted Dimitri's mother Dimitri lunged at Adrian, "Don't you ever say anything about my mother!" I barely had enough time to throw myself at Dimitri before he reached Adrian. With all the strength I had I pinned Dimitri to the floor as him and Adrian shouted vulgar things back and forth.

"Dimitri stop!" My hands clinched around his forearms and pushed them harder to the ground. "Please," I pleaded. Dimitri finally looked up at me and stopped fighting to get up. We were both breathing hard and Adrian stopped yelling. I helped Dimitri up but kept a firm grip on his wrist and stood in front of him. "Why'd you come Adrian?"

"Tatiana wants us at Court and by 'us' I mean me and Dimitri however since you're his bond mate by default you have to come. Which I argued against, just so you know. Anyway, pack up we're leaving in 20 minutes." With that he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

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><p>Dimitri, Adrian, and I arrived at Court 30 minutes ago and they were both immediately taken away from me and forced into a meeting with Tatiana that I was currently listening to. Mostly they were discussing the future and politics, boring stuff that I don't understand.<p>

"Now Dimitri, there is the issue of your Queen." Tatiana stated and that got my attention. "You will be nineteen soon and with your birthday fast approaching we must be prepared for you twentieth birthday at which point you will publicly propose and marry your Queen."

"Pardon me Aunt, but isn't it a little early to be discussing such matters?" Dimitri asked looking just slightly uncomfortable.

"No, you must take time to get to know her and be prepared to spend the rest of your lives together."

"That's stupid," Adrian snorted. "He's just a teen Aunt; why not wait 'til he's at least twenty to discuss this."

"Why waste time when it is so precious?" Tatiana asked rhetorically.

"Tatiana you speak as if you already have found the woman you wish me to marry." Dimitri said.

"Correct," Tatiana smiled and then the large stereotypical double doors that you always see in castles opened. "Dimitri you already know Miss Avery Lazar, your future Queen and wife."

Avery smiled at Dimitri as she almost strutted over to him and wrapped her arms around him to hug him. "Hi Dimitri," she purred.

"Avery," he greeted her as he pulled away then looked back to his aunt. "Is this really necessary? Plenty of Kings have ruled the Moroi without a Queen."

"You need a woman to help you rule and her judgments will help you as well. Plus being with someone will make you happy."

"I already am happy." Dimitri argued.

"Are you saying you already have someone in mind to be with or you are already in a relationship? Because I was unaware you're were with someone." Tatiana stared Dimitri down and at that moment I knew I was going to get hurt.

_I'm sorry Rose_, Dimitri voice filled my mind. "No, there is no one." I could see the look of outrage on Adrian's face and it was exactly how I felt.

"Good, you will spend the remainder of your time here with her and when you return to school you will go public as a couple." Tatiana smiled as Avery's arms wrapped around Dimitri's arm and she leaned into him.

I pulled out of Dimitri's head and immediately focused on building walls to keep him out. Tears ran freely from my eyes and if it was possible I could feel my heart breaking by the second.

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><p><strong>review and suggest what should happen next please and thank you! :)<strong>

**and go read my story "Breaking A Rose" because I'll be updating that one next**


	6. Chapter 6

**Make sure to read my other story 'Breaking A Rose' too, please!**

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><p>I had waited for Dimitri to come to my room for hours after he broke my heart. But he never showed. I knew he was with Avery, I could feel him through the bond. I knew he was trying to reach out to me, but I couldn't open myself up to him. If he couldn't take the time to come to my room and talk to me in person I obviously don't mean enough to him. He hadn't even tried to call or text me! Not that I would've answered.<p>

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked at my clock and saw it was around two in the morning (afternoon for humans) which was an odd time for anyone to be knocking on my door. When I got to the door I knew it wasn't Dimitri because I could tell he was asleep in his room right now. I opened the door to find a guardian, "You need to come with me Miss Hathaway." I was too tired to argue, too confused to question him, and just plain bored. I nodded and followed him all the way across Court to a heavily guarded room. He opened a door and ushered me in then bowed and closed the door.

I turned to see who he bowed to and was shocked. "Your Highness," I bowed quickly. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Come sit Rosemarie." She motioned to the chair in front of her desk. I sat across from her and waited for her to speak. "Rosemarie, I understand your feelings for Dimitri, he's a sweet boy, good looking, and has a bright future ahead of him, but it must stop. He needs you to be there to protect him and you cannot do that if your feelings get in the way. You cannot waste time being mad at him; he could be attacked if you are distracted with your own feelings. Do you understand?"

For the first time I understood what Tatiana meant. She just wanted Dimitri to be safe, just like I did. No matter how upset Dimitri made me I still had to protect him at any cost. Dimitri was going to marry Avery and I had to be ok with that. I sat in silence for a moment taking all of this in. "What do you want me to do?" I asked nervously not meeting her eyes.

"I want you to leave. Travel the world and learn from all the people you can. Being here is different from the real world and from what I've seen, you'd learn better out there than at St. Vladimir's. You'd be able to get away from all the distractions and feelings here, be free from all of the pain, and just learn."

My mind was reeling trying to take in everything she was saying. "You want me to leave everyone and just _go_?"

"Yes."

"Where? Your majesty I have no money, the only thing I've ever known is the Academy, I don't know how to survive in a world by myself."

"Rose, I won't let you be alone," I turned quickly to see someone standing in the corner of the room.

"Adrian," Tatiana scolded, "what are you doing here?"

"If you're sending Rose away I want to go with her." Adrian said as he sat next to me.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"No! You have to stay here." Tatiana objected.

"Why? Dimitri's obviously going to be king. I have learned all I can at the Academy; why not go learn from the world like Rose?" Adrian asked sounding like he's been thinking about a reason to leave.

Tatiana actually thought about he reason and must have found it acceptable. "Rose," she turned to me, "how do you feel about traveling with Adrian?"

I didn't even have to think about it, "I'd be more comfortable having him with me."

"Fine, then I will contact the hotel's and families I have arranged for you to stay in and in from them to expect another to be traveling with you." The queen made herself a note on her desk.

"You Majesty, if I may, where exactly are we going?" I asked.

"Everywhere," she answered simply. "You have over half of your junior year still to complete and all of your senior year. In that time I have arranged for you to travel the entire globe and learn from the most skilled, most deadly, and the best guardians there are. You will train to fight better, control your feelings, and become to Rose Hathaway I know you can be. Adrian," she turned to him, "in the 21 months that both of you will be traveling I will find Spirit users for you to train with as well as have Rose teach you some combat. When you two return I wish for you to come straight to me so you can demonstrate what you have learned. Adrian you are going to be the 'test subject' of sorts to prove that Moroi can still fight and Rose once you have finished you will continue to be Dimitri's guardian." Adrian and I sat in silence just staring wide-eyed at Tatiana. "Understood?"

"Y-yes, your majesty." We both stuttered.

"Good, now pack your things and head to the air strip. You will return to the Academy to collect your belongings then you will be off to your first destination."

We walked to the door, but I stopped and looked back at the queen. "I don't want anyone to know."

"No one can know. If they did I fear that you both would be in more danger than you could even imagine." She sent us off and we decided to go to my room first since his was closest to the airstrip.

"It sounded like we're special agents," Adrian joked. "'You will be off to your first destination.'" Adrian imitated his great aunt.

I couldn't help but laugh as we walked together. The sun was just setting which meant that the Moroi would wake up soon and the last thing I wanted was to be seen leaving so we had to be quick.

"I've missed you Adrian." I said honestly as I grabbed my suitcase that I hadn't even unpacked.

"I missed you too Little Dhampir." He slung his arm around my shoulder as we walked to his room. "You know for the next almost two years we're stuck together."

"Great," my words dripping with sarcasm.

"You know that you are so happy you get to spend time with me!" Adrian exclaimed, faking hurt feelings, as he grabbed his duffle bag.

"Maybe just a little." I smiled at him.

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><p>We arrived at the Academy and I knew before I left I had to say goodbye to Lissa. "I can come with you if you'd like?" Adrian offered.<p>

"No this is something I need to do on my own," he nodded and walked off to the Ivashkov wing while I went to Lissa's room. I knocked, "hey it's me."

"Rose!" She threw open the door and pulled me into a tight hug. "Ohh my god, I've been worried sick!"

"Why?" I asked shutting the door and walking over to her bed to sit with her.

"Dimitri called, said he couldn't find you or Adrian at Court. He's really worried Rose. Christian's been here almost the whole time, but he just recently left to get some food. I can call him to get you something if you'd like?" She offered reaching for her phone.

"No Liss, Adrian and I ate on the plane."

"Adrian? You're here with him? I thought you were with Dimitri."

"When he called he didn't tell you what happened did he?"

"He told me that your stuff was gone and that he couldn't find you."

I couldn't stop the tears that slowly slid from my eyes as I thought about what I was going to tell her. "Dimitri, he's—He has to—God, Dimitri's in an arranged relationship with Avery now. Tatiana asked him if there was anyone he was in a relationship with and he said no. He hasn't even tried to speak to me Liss." I broke down and my best friend pulled me into her arms.

"I'm so sorry Rose," she stroked my hair as I cried. After a few minutes of me bawling I pulled away and wiped my tears away. "You're leaving aren't you?" She asked.

I was surprised for only a second that she knew, but they I realized this girl was like my sister. She knew everything about me and she almost could read me better than Dimitri. "Yes, Tatiana's arranged for me and Adrian to travel abroad until graduation."

"I'm going to miss you," it was her turn to start crying.

I pulled her into a hug, "I know. I'll miss you too," I stroked her hair and just held her as we sat together for what would be the last time for a long time.

A knock came from the door and we both looked up to see Adrian and Christian. From the look on Christian's face I knew Adrian had told him. He walked over to his girl friend and held her as I stood up and straightened out my cloths. "You can't tell anyone."

"We won't," Christian assured me.

"Tell Eddie and Mason I'll miss them." They nodded. "And tell—"

"I'll tell him you said goodbye." Lissa smiled sadly at me.

I nodded because no more words could come out without me crying. "Goodb—"

"No, you don't get to say that!" Lissa cried. "You're going to come back. You're going to come back." She started to cry more and threw her arms around me again.

"I will come back, Liss. I promise."

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><p>"It broke his heart to do what he had to, Rose." Adrian said as we sat on the plane awaiting take off.<p>

"Huh?" I'd zoned out. Leaving Dimitri was hard enough but having to leave Lissa was another pain entirely. She'd always been there for me even after everything we'd been through. I'd never been away from her without knowing exactly when I was coming back. Now I had no clue. I didn't know exactly when I'd see her again, when I'd talk to her again, when I'd get to hug her again.

Apart from leaving her I was leaving my home. The Academy was the closest thing to a home I'd found, besides being with Dimitri's family. _Dimitri_. The whole gravity of the situation finally crashed down on me. I was leaving him. Yes I'd been mad at him plenty of times before, but we'd always made up. Then once the bond formed I'd always known we were connected in a way no one else was. Now that I'd closed myself off to him and the bond, I felt alone. Lost in a way. It was always comforting to know that if I needed him he'd be there, but now he couldn't be. Thinking about him and what he'd done, I knew this was the right thing to do. But how could it be right, when it caused me so much pain?

All these thoughts flooded over me as I sat with my knees pulled to my chest and my arms around my legs on the plane. I'd curled into myself and leaned my head against the wall of the plane. "Dimitri," Adrian explained. "He's hurting just as much as you are."

"It was his choice." I mumbled.

"He didn't even really have a choice Rose." Adrian sat across from me and just gave me the look he always did when I was being stubborn.

"There's always a choice. He made his and now I've made mine."

"I know. But just because we're leaving them, doesn't mean that you could ever completely leave him." I knew he was talking about the bond. "You don't have to shut him out Rose. I know you're worried about him, just check on him. You'll feel better."

Against my better judgment I slipped into Dimitri's head being as discrete as possible so he wouldn't know I was there. What I saw broke me beyond repair. I yanked myself out as quickly and quietly as I'd came. My breathing became rapid and it was getting harder to control the pain. "He's- he- he was with her, Adrian."

"Rose," Adrian rushed to my side and pulled me into his chest as the tears started to fall.

"He was kissing her and holding her and—" I was gasping for air as I sobbed. "It hurts Adrian. The pain, it hurts so bad!"

"It's going to be ok Rose. You're going to be ok. You're going to be ok." He repeated that to me and I cried in his arms until I fell asleep.

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><p>"Rose, we're here." I woke up in Adrian's arms, sat up, and stretched.<p>

"Where is here?" I asked still drowsy.

"Turkey."

We grabbed exited the plane to find four large, black SUV's waiting for us and a lot of big men standing behind one in a very expensive looking suit with a bright scarf around his neck and a fedora on his head. "You must be Rosemarie and Lord Ivashkov, I presume?" The Moroi man asked and smiled.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"My name is Ibrahim Mazur, but you, kiz, can call me Abe."

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><p><strong>REVIEW! :)<strong>

**and tell me what to do next please or it'll take me a long time to update.**


	7. Chapter 7

There are times in everyone's lives when they are forced to change. When they can no longer continue living their life the way they've planned. Where they must adapt to the challenges life throws at them; changing them forever.

"Miss Hathaway, the plane will be landing now," the flight attendant's reminder pulled Rose out of her thoughts.

"Thank you Cynthia." I responded kindly as the lady walked away.

Truthfully Rose thought she should be nervous about what she was about to endure but she was not. There was nothing she could do about it so she did not waste her energy feeling needless emotions. I stood as soon as the plane touched the runway and grabbed the small carry on bag I had. Rose walked through the aisle to the exit of the plane and walked down the stairs to meet Alberta and the Queen who waited by one stretch limo and three large SUVs. "Your Majesty," Rose bowed.

"Rosemarie, I am glad you've returned unharmed." She Queen nodded to her.

Unharmed was not a word I would use to describe the last two years of my life, but now was not the time to dwell on the past. "Thank you, your Majesty." Rose said respectfully.

"Rose," I made eye contact with Alberta as I'd been taught. "We will return to St. Vladimir's where you will you will attend the graduation and then the three of us will discuss Prince Ivashkov's security and future."

"Yes Guardian Petrov." I responded.

"Come Rosemarie, ride with me," The Queen offered motioning to the open door of the limo. I followed Tatiana to the limo and side into the far seat of the car while she sat on the one closest to the door. "So tell me Rose—you don't mind me calling you Rose, correct? I hate formalities when not in public."

"As you wish, your Majesty." Rose responded almost robotically to people now due to all the training she'd undergone.

"Rose, please call me Tatiana."

"Yes, your—Tatiana." I corrected myself.

"So Rose, where is Adrian? I was slightly surprised when Abe had told me he would not be traveling back with you seeing as how adamant you both were about staying together when you left."

"Adrian met my father secretary, Sydney Sage, when we arrived at Abe's second home in Baia and was some what taken with her. Over the month or so we spent there the two of them became close and Adrian decided it was best for him if he did not leave without her."

"Ahh so you discovered Abe is your father?" I nodded to Tatiana's question. "Well then," Tatiana seemed surprised. "Will Adrian be returning any time soon?"

"Yes, I believe him, Sydney, and Abe are landing as we speak."

"Wonderful, we would not want him to miss his graduation."

The Queen and I sat in silence for some time after that as the driver started the limo to take us the short distance to the Academy. Rose's thoughts got the best of her as she reminisced about her and Adrian's travels. All the beautiful places they'd seen. All the things they'd learned. The people they'd met. The things they'd done. The fights they'd gotten in over stupid problems. Them making up and laughing. Adrian was the only on who understood why she was the person she was now because he was the only who'd constantly been there. And now, when she needed him most, he was not with her, but with Sydney.

Rose's memories took over flashing back to all the things she'd suffered these past two years. The brutal trainings, the near death experiences, the abusive instructors, and all the times she'd been forced to adapt to survive. All the times she'd been starved to the point of near death, being left out in the middle of winter with nothing but jeans and a thin shirt so she could learn to live on nothing, sparring when dehydrated, being tortured to teach her never to answer questions enemies might ask her, but worst of all – "Rose, we're here." Tatiana's voice saved her from reliving anymore memories. "We best hurry, the ceremony has started."

I followed her as she led me to the cafeteria that was transformed into where the Moroi would graduate. The Queen and I took two seats in the back while her guardians spread out around her. We watched in silence as one by one Moroi took their diplomas and walked back to their seats. Their friends and family would clap for them and I couldn't help but smile a little when Lissa took her diploma. She didn't know I was here and probably wouldn't know for a while seeing as Christian's aunt was here and she'd be spending time with Christian and her.

"Adrian Ivashkov," my head snapped over to see Adrian waltzing across the stage as he lazily grinned. People clapped for him and even Sydney cheered. I found her and Abe sitting a few rows in front of us, how they'd arrived here before me was astounding, but then again their plane had left from Turkey and mine from Baia and my pilot wouldn't fly across the Atlantic Ocean saying it was 'unsafe'. When in reality I knew it was because Abe paid him to fly the long way so I had more time to sleep.

"Dimitri Ivashkov," no amount of training in the world could've prepared me for what I saw next. My amazing best friend Dimitri, who I'd known all my life, who I'd love, hated, then loved again, walking gracefully as ever across the stage; drunk. If you didn't _really_ know him you'd never know that he was drunk, or that the lighthearted glint in his eyes was gone, replaced with seriousness, pain, and something else. He looked older, meaner, and above all arrogant. He looked like that school dick that everyone hated, but wanted to be popular so badly they put up with him. I analyzed him as he walked across the stage and noticed something was missing on his left ring finger.

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><p>"Come," after the ceremony Tatiana led me over to a small crowd out in the courtyard of the school. She smiled politely at everyone who greeted her and finally found the people she was looking for. "Adrian, Dimitri," Tatiana called. She hugged them both as I stood back with her other guardians far enough so no one would notice me. Adrian introduced Sydney to his aunt as well as to Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Mia. Dimitri paid little to no attention to his cousin because he was too absorbed in a dark haired pale girl, who was not Avery.<p>

"Rose?" I looked over and made eye contact with jade green eyes. "Oh my God." Lissa threw herself at me and my reflexes were sharp enough to catch her and regain my balance quickly before her weight dragged us both down. "I missed you so much," I could feel her tears on my neck as I hugged her back tightly.

"I missed you too." I said honestly.

"Ok stop hogging her, I want a hug too."

Lissa pulled away from me and turned to Adrian, "You've spent two years with her! It's my turn!" Lissa complained then looked back at me smiling, "I have so many things planned, we're going to go shopping, and have sleepovers, and you have to tell me everything that's happened, and—"

"Lissa," I cut her off, "I came back to guard Dimitri. I can't be distracted." My expression remained neutral as her smile fell. I didn't mean for what I'd said to sound harsh, but by the hurt look on Lissa's face and the silent stares of everyone else, including Dimitri, I assumed it sounded terrible.

"Rose—"

"Rosemarie, we must be going." Tatiana cut her off not wanting the conversation to continue.

"Yes Your Majesty." I nodded to all of my friends who still stood silently and started walking with the Queen and Alberta.

"Dimitri," Tatiana stopped and called to him. He looked up with the same dead and slightly angry look in his eyes. "Come." He nodded and followed the three of us not looking back at the black haired woman staring lustfully after him. We continued walking as Alberta and Tatiana fell into a conversation about the approved colleges Dimitri was supposed to choose from soon. Not wanting to listen to what they were saying and knowing I was going to hear about it later I slowed my pace. I walked quietly a foot or so behind them for a short time before Dimitri caught up to me.

He was silent for a minute then surprised me when he spoke, "You shouldn't treat Lissa so poorly. She's been waiting for you to come back since the day you left."

We continued walking not looking at each other, "She's been waiting for her best friend to come back. I just don't have the heart to tell her that her best friend's gone."

Dimitri walked in front of me and stopped causing me to stop as well. "At least speak to her with respect. She's a Royal Moroi and deserves to be treated as such by a simple Dhampir."

I kept me serious, emotionless expression as he insulted me and then spoke calmly, "As you wish Prince Ivashkov." I then walked around him into the Guardian's building and into a large meeting room.

Alberta motioned me over to the seat to the left of the seat at the head of the table. I sat down and she took a seat across from me as Tatiana took the seat at the head of the table. Guardians started filing in as well as a few Moroi then finally Dimitri stocked in and took the seat next to mine.

For the next two hours the Queen and Guardians discussed the safest colleges for Dimitri to attend taking into account the location, security, distance from Court, and how many Moroi or Dhampirs attended the colleges already.

"It is decided then, Dimitri will attend Harvard." Tatiana announced and out of the corner of my eye I saw Dimitri shake his head and look down in defeat.

I looked over at him and he put his face in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. "Your Majesty," I turned to Tatiana who was about to stand and dismiss everyone. "With all due respect, if Dimitri has to spend four years studying at this college shouldn't he at least have a say in where he wants to go?" I knew Dimitri had straightened up behind me but I wouldn't risk looking away from Tatiana incase she decided not to listen to me.

"She has a point, Your Majesty," Alberta pointed out.

Tatiana gave me the smallest smile then turned to her favorite nephew. "Dimitri, where would you like to go?"

"Lehigh University." The next thirty minutes were spent discussing Lehigh and the great business and economic programs the school had, which is what Dimitri had chosen to major in.

Tatiana was satisfied with the location and just had one request of me, "Rose, I will agree to this school only if you can travel there next week and survey the school for me while Dimitri takes a tour."

"Yes Your Majesty," I agreed.

"Very well, Dimitri will attend Lehigh University as long as Guardian Hathaway approves it's safety." The Queen announced then dismissed everyone. "Rose escort Dimitri back to the Ivashkov wing and your room there should be ready."

I nodded to Tatiana then followed Dimitri out of the room and across the campus.

"I don't need a babysitter," he snapped at me as we neared his home.

"I'm not babysitting you."

"Well don't baby me either!" Dimitri stopped in front of me again. "I could've spoken for myself if I really didn't want to go to Harvard."

"But you didn't. You're going to a school you want to go to now. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is you! You come back here after two years acting like nothing's wrong! You speak to Lissa like she means nothing to you. You walk around with no emotion. You react to nothing. You're not the same Rose!"

I remained calm and impassive as he yelled at me because I was trained to. "Because nothing is wrong. I told you already that the Rose you knew before is gone. The only thing that matters to me now, is your safety."

"So all of your friends, my cousin, your family, they mean nothing?" He asked like it was the craziest thing in the world.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

Dimitri lowered his face until it was inches from mine, "I'm going to prove you wrong."

"You can try."

"The old Rose is still in there somewhere and I'm going to find her."

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	8. Chapter 8

For the past week Dimitri had done nothing but try to torture me. Key word _try_. He constantly ordered me around, making me do things he was either too lazy to do or just didn't want to do. I was treated like his slave, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of getting any emotion out of me. Whenever he told me to do something I did it without hesitation saying "As you wish, Prince," and doing whatever he wanted. I knew he was angry because I wasn't reacting which only made me not want to react more.

Dimitri was also spending a lot of time with Tasha, who I'd discovered was Christian's aunt and the woman who was attached to him at graduation. In the few short conversations I'd had with people since I'd returned I found out that a few months after I left Dimitri changed. He became reckless, partied too much, developed a cocaine addiction – which Lissa told me she made sure that didn't last very long, and that he'd dumped Avery. Christian told me Dimitri walked up to her in the middle of a royal party and told her "he couldn't be engaged to such a whore." When I heard that I was tempted to slap him, but resisted the urge and scolded myself for thinking of harming my Moroi.

Thankfully I've reconnected with Lissa and Christian after I explained to them why I said what I did when I first saw her. Whenever I had a short second to spare I stopped by and saw them before running off to assist Dimitri. Sadly though I had to leave them again because I was about to board a plane to Lehigh. Tatiana had offered for Lissa and Christian to come seeing as Lissa was going to school there as well, however Dimitri argued it was better to just have a small group of people go so we did not draw attention to ourselves. "The more Moroi that go, the more guardians have to come," or so he said. Honestly it didn't matter to me how many people came, it mattered that he was safe, which he would be with me, Alberta, and Eddie—an old friend of mine—guarding him. The thing that did bother me was that Dimitri invited Tasha to come. If Lissa and Christian were too much of a burden to come why did she get to?

"Rose," I looked to find Adrian sitting in the seat behind Dimitri and Tasha. A small smile pulled on my lips as he stood up and hugged me.

"I didn't know you were coming," I told him as we sat in the two seats behind Dimitri and Tasha.

"My Aunt thought it was best if we traveled together like always."

"Oh joy, my dearest cousin has decided to join us." Dimitri's snarky comment made Adrian and I look to our right to see Dimitri standing next to my seat.

"Careful cousin, unlike Rose I didn't learn self control while I was gone." Adrian shot back.

"Well what exactly did you learn, cousin? Because you obviously didn't learn how to keep your hands off other's toys." He spat the words as if they were poison.

Adrian shot out of his seat and glared at Dimitri. "If you're referring to Rose, she's not a toy or a possession of yours. And I didn't have to put my hands on her she came to me. Each time you screwed up _she left you for me_."

Dimitri's eye blazed with anger, "You—" I stood quickly and blocked Adrian from Dimitri as he lunged at him.

I pushed Dimitri back by his shoulders as the few guardians that were on the plane and Tasha turned to look at all of us. "That's enough," I scolded them. Dimitri obviously didn't want to listen to me because he tried to go for Adrian again but I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the back of the private jet. He was fuming as I pushed him into the very back seat and sat in front of him. I watched him as he put his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees as he did in the meeting.

"I can stay with him," Natasha's voice started Dimitri as we both looked up at her.

"That's not necessary," Dimitri snapped then went back to sitting the way he was. Natasha looked shocked and like she was going to burst into tears.

"I'm staying with him, it's my job." I said to her then she nodded and walked back to her seat. Dimitri and I sat in silence as the plane took off then once I saw his shoulders relax more I spoke, "You shouldn't treat people like that."

He glared up at me and I fought to keep the hurt from showing in my face, "Like what?"

"Like trash. Like they don't mean anything to you."

"She doesn't mean anything to me."

"Well then why'd you invite her?"

"Because I…" What ever smart remark he had died in his mouth as he shook his head and looked at the floor. "Tasha's just a distraction, why should I treat her as anything more than that?"

"Because she'd a Royal. Wasn't it you who lectured me about respecting Royals last week?" A slight joking tone was in my words and Dimitri noticed because he looked up at me and smirked.

"Maybe I changed my mind."

I shook my head realizing I wasn't going to get through to him and looked out the window.

"You know the old Rose wouldn't have given up so easily. She would've fought with me until I went to apologize to Tasha."

"I already told you she's gone," I said still looking out the window at the clouds.

"And I told you I don't believe that." Some irritation was evident in his voice.

I looked him in the eyes and spoke firmly, "Well you should."

This time Dimitri shook his head and scoffed at me. "It's like you're a robot to me. With Adrian, Lissa, Christian, and everyone else you're fine. But me, I get the monotone, "yes Prince," "as you wish Prince," bullshit."

"That's because Lissa, Adrian, and Christian don't treat me like a slave."

"I just want you to say no!" He said loudly. "I want you to react to something, anything, Rose."

"I can't."

"Why not?" He growled, obviously angry again.

"Because doing what I'm told is all I know. It's all I've done for two years."

Dimitri's eyes became soft and in that moment I knew I'd slipped. I had left him see a small part of me that still had emotions and that small part of me could break me. All the training I'd done, the torture, the pain, the abuse, it would all be for nothing if I learned to feel again. He dropped the subject and sat back quietly in his seat then soon fell asleep, but I sat still, awake for the whole flight. Rebuking myself for being so careless.

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><p>Dimitri took a tour of the campus with Alberta and Eddie while I walked around and scouted everything. The school seemed safe and the students were generally nice. I checked out the suite Dimitri was to have and decided it was easy to secure. He would stay in the largest room of the suite while I took the second bedroom. Lissa would also be rooming close by with Eddie guarding her so there would be no problem making sure the two of them were safe. I reported to Tatiana that I approved the school and ended the phone call with her as Dimitri and Tasha entered the suite living room.<p>

"What'd my aunt say?" Dimitri asked.

"She's going to inform the Dean you've decided to attend here and she's happy you like the campus." I spoke as I continued typing up a report on the school for Hans –the head of the Guardians at Court—so he would be able to devise an emergency plan if anything were to happen.

"Good, Tasha and I are going to stay in tonight so no need to check on us," Dimitri informed me then walked with her into his room and much to my chagrin I heard the door lock. I would definitely be checking on them later.

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><p>For the past few hours I heard Tasha moaning and screaming, which caused me to gag on more than one occasion. Honestly how could Dimitri put up with that noise? I'd been listening to her for at least four hours and I've wanted to cut off my ears.<p>

Alberta had texted me letting me know that she was called back to the school for a meeting, nothing urgent, and that if I needed anything Eddie was staying in Lissa's suite. About an hour after receiving her message I realized that Dimitri and Tasha were very quiet. I rejoiced for only a second until the slight tingle of nausea hit me. I ran to Dimitri's door and busted it open to find the bed a mess, but no Dimitri or Tasha. "Shit."

I ran to Lissa's room and startled Eddie. "Dimitri and Tasha are gone and there's a Strigoi on campus."

"I'll alert the other guardians, you search the dorms and the other Guardians and I will seat the main campus." I nodded and took off towards the housing.

After running through all of the buildings and finding nothing I was beyond pissed but mostly worried. The nausea had not gone away, in fact it was stronger. I was near the far edge of the sorority houses when the sickening feeling overwhelmed me. There was a small forest in front of me and I could see a small glow from between the trees. I followed the light until I found a group of people surrounding a small bond fire. Beer bottles and cigarettes were everywhere, but Dimitri wasn't here, however Tasha was. I stormed up to her and pulled her away from some guy she was shamelessly throwing herself at.

"Where is he?" I spoke calmly but really I just wanted to stake her.

"He who?" She slurred.

"Dimitri."

"Ohhh him," she giggle. "He ditched me and went off further into the woods with some slut."

I left her then and searched quickly through the rest of the trees until I heard hushed moans and kissing. I was nearly to Dimitri when I was thrown against a tree and pinned to it. "Well if it isn't Rosemarie Hathaway." The Strigoi sneered at me, "What are you doing out here?" I didn't answer; instead I worked on reaching my stake from my jacket pocket. "Looking for a certain Moroi Prince? Dimitri Ivashkov perhaps? I would be greatly rewarded for awakening both of you."

"Maybe another time," I smirked then cut his arm quickly with my stake to make him release me. The Strigoi cried out in pain as he dropped me. I stood quickly and stake him through the heart. I was trying to regain my normal breathing, but other than that was unfazed. I called Eddie to inform him I killed the Strigoi and that it need to be disposed of while I found Dimitri. He agreed to send an alchemist to the location I gave him and headed my direction to pick up Tasha while I took care of Dimitri.

I found him making out with some girl up against a tree and pulled her away from him. "What the hell?" She yelled at me.

"Leave," I snapped at her.

"N—" I cut off her protest with a murderous glare and she stumbled back to the party.

"So much for respecting people," Dimitri said as he leaned against the tree.

I clinched my jaw to keep from saying anything and walked out of the forest with him following me. Eddie had arrived with other Guardians at the party bringing three SUVs. Dimitri and I got in one and I ordered the driver to take us back to the suite.

We were both silent as he unlocked the suite and we walked into the living room. Dimitri plopped down on the couch while I headed for my room. "Make sure you wash up before you do anything. I wouldn't want you leaving blood on any of my things."

I stopped in the middle of the living room and looked at myself in the glass sliding door that led to his balcony. I was a little beaten up with a few bruises and cuts on my body as well as a large gash on my lower arm I must've gotten from the tree. Which reminded me of the Strigoi, and how Dimitri could've been killed. "How could you be so stupid?" I snapped. "There was a Strigoi out there tonight not ten feet from you and if I hadn't saved your ass you'd be dead."

"Well good thing my Guardian did her job." He snapped and stood up from the couch.

"If you hadn't run off with Tasha I wouldn't have had to."

"Well excuse me for making you do your job!" He had walked closer to me and was not yelling in my face.

"My job is to keep you out of danger not protect you from the stupid situations you throw yourself into!" I yelled back. "You're lucky I even found you tonight."

"How did you find me?" He asked in a much softer voice.

"I ran across the campus." I answered like he was stupid.

Hurt flashed across his face, "You could've used the bond."

At the mention of the bond my blood ran cold as I remembered the last time I'd used it. "I would rather run across campus." I snapped then started walking to the bathroom.

"So what if you hadn't found me tonight? If the Strigoi found me first just because you wouldn't use our bond and I'd been killed." He asked with determination in his voice knowing he could make me crack at any second. But I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

I looked back at him and answered honestly, "Then you'd be dead, because you made a stupid decision."

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><p><strong>I wanted to give y'all a small Dimitri Rose moment, I hope you liked it.**

**REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

As I stood looking at myself in the mirror I couldn't help but remember the exact events that led up to me becoming the emotionless being I was.

"_Fight harder, Rose." Mikhail encouraged me. I was in the gym surrounded by ten highly trained Guardian's trying to take me down, but with every last ounce of strength in my body I fought back. The dizziness from fatigue had settled in and was moments from causing me to pass out. "Just two more Rose." Some how I'd pinned the final Guardian and earned applause from Mikhail, "Very good. You've improved so much in just this one week." It was all I could do to nod in thanks to his praise as he helped me up from the floor. "Get her some water, please," he asked one of the Guardians that I had fought._

_The Guardian nodded and turned to go get me a bottle when a sharp, "No," stopped him in his tracks. Mikhail glared at the man who emerged from the shadows as he continued to hold me upright._

"_She needs to rehydrated, Victor." Mikhail spat the words at the old Moroi._

"_She needs to learn to adapt." He spoke calmly with a slight sneer in my direction. "The Queen has sent her here, to me, to learn, and so she will. You may go rest now Rosemarie." He dismissed me, but Mikhail didn't let me go. Instead he started walking with me towards the door. "I did not say for you to take her to her room, Guardian Tanner. The girl can walk on her own."_

"_No she can't. You've made sure of that," Mikhail argued back._

"_I said she may go rest. Let her go rest." Victor reiterated._

_I could tell Mikhail wanted to argue more but I started to slowly pull away from him, "No," I pleaded weakly. "I'll be fine." I took a few steps and the room started to spin._

_I quickly grabbed the wall fro support as Mikhail tried to reach for me. "No," Victor ordered. "Let her adapt."_

That was the first time Victor had forced me to deal with my dehydration. Slowly I got better and better with fighting the fatigue and need for water, but it was never enough for Victor.

"Come on Rose! We're going to be late," Eddie called from outside my bathroom door.

I walked out of the bathroom and checked the time, "We have half and hour Eddie."

"Never hurts to be early," he smiled and we started walking towards the Guardian's meeting room.

Once we'd returned from Lehigh, Tatiana called for a meeting to discuss the events that took place the night Dimitri snuck out. However seeing as we returned in the middle of the week and Guardian's still had some classes to finish teaching for the younger children; the meeting was forced to Saturday. My one and only off day, which I'd be spending with Dimitri, who I hadn't spoken to since Wednesday when we'd returned. When I guarded him he said nothing to me and didn't even bat an eye in my direction. I was grateful for this, it made being stoic easier for me. However when he spent time with Tasha—which he did a lot—he made it a point to always be touching her, kissing her, or sleeping with her whenever I was around.

"After you," Eddie held the door open for me. I smiled and thanked him as we walked in.

Just like before I took the seat next to Tatiana and Eddie took the seat next to Alberta who was across from me again. Dimitri sat silently next to me as Tatiana debriefed everyone and read the reports from all the Guardian's that night. Once it was decided that Dimitri would be under my watch 24/7—which I was not happy about, but didn't show it—Tatiana dismissed everyone but Dimitri, Eddie, and I.

"Do you realize how incredibly selfish this was Dimitri?" Tatiana scolded him. "If you had been killed or turned the Moroi world would've lost its future King." Dimitri sat silently as she continued to lecture him. "I thought we'd dealt with you and your stupid schemes last time! Not only were you being reckless back then but your actions also affected Mason Ashford."

At the mention of my old best friend my head snapped up, "What affect did it have on Mason Ashford?"

Eddie tensed and Tatiana looked at me with sad eyes, "Mason was killed."

My body moved on its own, ignoring my training to not react, and ran out of the building. I don't know how long I ran in the pouring rain until a strong hand caught my wrist and pulled me to a stop, "Rose!" He yelled in my face.

"All this time, I'd been wondering where he was. All this time, you could've told me, but you didn't." Tears threatened to fall but I wouldn't let them. My hair and cloths were soaked as the rain fell harder and thunder roared in the sky.

"I didn't know what to say." Dimitri said.

"You could have just told me! You could've told me that it was your fault my best friend was murdered!"


	10. Chapter 10

**It' short, but at least it's an update!**

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><p>"Did you know?" I asked him as I sat in front of the grave stone staring at the name engraved in it.<p>

"Yes," he answered, "but I don't regret not telling you." He sat next to me and put an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me into him.

"When did it happen?"

"We were in Poland. You'd just started your training with Robert Duro. My aunt called to tell you, but I wouldn't let her."

I pulled away from Adrian and finally looked away from Mason's grave to him. "Why not?"

"Because it'd barely been a year since we'd left and I knew that you'd want to go back. To be here for the funeral, but Rose I just couldn't let you be hurt. After everything that'd happened to you with Victor and then when he found you again because of Robert I felt like you'd break. If I could just keep one bad thing from happening to you I'd do it I a heartbeat, because I love you."

"I love you too, Adrian," I hugged him and we just stayed like that until I was ready to move on.

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><p>Adrian went to meet Sydney at her room and I decided it was time to go find Dimitri. I walked to the Ivashkov wing and came face to face with Natasha. "Lady Ozera." I greeted her and moved to walk around her.<p>

"You shouldn't have come back," she spat.

I stopped walking and turned to look back at her. "I didn't have a choice, believe me if I did I wouldn't be here."

"So why not leave? Save everyone the pain and stop Dimitri's misery. He doesn't want you here."

"If he didn't want me here why would he be fighting so hard for me?" My voice held no emotion as I spoke to her.

"He didn't fight for you before." Tasha smirked at me. For a moment I thought she knew about Dimitri and I being together until she spoke again, "He just let you leave. He moved on to Avery, fucked her, and then when she got boring he moved on to me. Now I don't see him giving a damn about you. You're just his guardian."

"You're right I am his guardian which means he's stuck with me. But _you_," I chuckled humorlessly, "he doesn't have to keep you. You're no different then Avery and you better believe the second he gets bored with you, you'll be gone and I'll still be here."

Natasha's expression became murderous and she raised her fist to punch me. I caught it, but what surprised me was when her hand started to heat. She was using her fire magic to burn me, but what she didn't know was that I'd already been tortured with fire much stronger than hers. The flesh on my hand started to burn away, but I didn't let go of her hand I gripped her fist tighter and pushed it down. "I'd stop if I were you. My self control's good, but it does have its limits."

The heat subsided and I released her hand. "This isn't over Hathaway," she spat then turned and walked to the Ivashkov house.

I took a deep breath then looked down at my right hand. It was a nasty red color, very bloody, with some third degree burns, and over all it just looked horrific. At least this time it wasn't half my body. I shook away the memory and walked into the Ivashkov house.

Dimitri and Tasha were sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV while Lissa, Christian, and Eddie were in the kitchen talking with Sydney and Adrian. Lissa was the first to look up and see me. "Hey Rose," she smiled sadly knowing that I knew now. She walked over to hug me and I hugged her back with one hand, keeping my burnt one by my side.

"Rose what happened to your hand?" Adrian asked franticly as he stood up and walked over to me. He grabbed it and examined it, "I left you barely ten minutes ago, how did you manage to do this so quickly?"

"Some people need to learn not to fight fire with fire." I smirked as I noticed Tasha tense.

Christian walked over, "Rose that looks like a burn from a fire user."

"Obviously not a very good one if it doesn't hurt." I pulled my hand away from Adrian and Christian because I hated that they were babying me.

"Rose can I just heal it?" Lissa pleaded.

"No, don't waste your energy on me."

"No Rose it's fine." Lissa argued.

"No."

"Rose those are third degree burns," Christian spoke up.

"So?"

"Rose just let someone heal that, it looks disgusting." Eddie finally said.

"No, I'm fine. Plus it's not worth it."

"Rose—"

"I said I'm fine," I cut Adrian off. What I hadn't realized was that I snapped at them. I sighed and then walked out of the house and into the garden that belonged to Dimitri's mother. I took my time walking through the maze of flowers and thought about Olena. She used to love coming out here to plant flowers, I would help her some times, and then when we discovered Dimitri was a Spirit user she had him help grow the flowers. Now that she was gone the landscapers would come take care of the garden, but it was never as beautiful as when Olena did it. Thinking about her always made my heart clinch in sadness, because no matter what I did now I knew she'd never be happy with the way my life or Dimitri's had turned out.

I sat down on the edge of the small fountain at the canter of the garden and just stared at the white roses on the hedges surrounding the fountain. Olena and Dimitri had planted then for my birthday one year and brought me here to see them. They were so beautiful I'd cried and then Dimitri had wiped my tears and told me, "You're too beautiful to cry."

A sad smile pulled at my lips as I thought about how close we used to be compared to now. Maybe if I'd fought more for him when I was younger we'd still be together now. Maybe if I hadn't left he wouldn't be the way he was now. All the if, then, maybe scenarios went through my head as I just sat in the garden and for the first time in years I actually wished I could cry. I wished I could actually let the pain out, but I'd been broken for so long that I could never just put myself together enough to cry. I looked down at my hand and thought about how stupid I was for snapping at my friends. For hurting them over something so unimportant.

I don't know how long I sat looking at my hand until a larger one covered it and a rush of hot and cold ran through my body. My breath caught at the feeling, but it wasn't the feeling of the healing magic that made my heart stop. It was the feeling of him. His soft touch on my skin for the first time in years. The feeling was overwhelming and wonderful. I looked up to meet his amazing brown eyes and found them filled with so much pain. If it was a few years earlier I would've done anything to take away his pain, but not now, not after everything. "You shouldn't have done that." I said as I pulled my now healed hand away and stood up.

"Rose," Dimitri called out to me and stopped me from walking away. I turned to look back at him and gasped. All the white roses surrounding us were opened and if possible were slightly glowing in the moon light. They were magnificent and breathtaking to say the least. "I am so sorry." I tore my eyes from the roses and looked into his eyes. "I understand if you hate me because I hate myself. I took away your best friend and can never bring him back to you, but I just need to know that some day you'll forgive me."

I'm not sure if it was the roses, or that he'd healed me, or just Dimitri in general but something made me crack just enough to smile at him. "Dimitri there is nothing you could ever do to make me hate you and I forgive you."

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><p><strong>There's your Dimitri and Rose moment.<strong>

**Now review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I know the other one was short so here's another update!**

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><p>"Guardian Hathaway speaking," I answered my phone.<p>

"Rose, there was an attack on a Guardian base not far from Court last night. Dimitri has been in the hospital all night healing and helping the nurses but was sent home an hour or so ago. Would you go check on him soon?" Tatiana asked.

"Of course, your Highness." I replied then hung up.

"My aunt called?" Adrian asked when I walked back into the kitchen.

"Yes, there was an attack last night not far from here and Dimitri's been using Spirit so she wants me to go check on him." I explained as I sat next to him at my table and started eating my donut again. It had been a little over a month since graduation and I'd recently settled into my new house at Court which was a block away from Dimitri's mansion. Adrian and Sydney lived in the mansion as well seeing as Adrian was an Ivashkov. Lissa and Christian lived in a house a few doors from mine along with Eddie to guard them and Tasha was staying with them as well.

"Rose," Adrian looked at me cautiously. "Have you been taking darkness from Dimitri recently?"

"No," I answered looking at him like he was crazy. "I mean Dimitri and I have been acting civil to each other, but that doesn't mean I'd ever open myself up to the bond again."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am! Why?" I stopped eating my donut and looked at him.

"Because I've never seen your aura this dark." The donut feel from my hand in shock. "Is there anyway the darkness has been getting to you without you knowing?"

"No… Yes… Maybe. I don't know." I stuttered. "I thought I learned how to control it."

"You did. But maybe it's just getting stronger."

"I need to go check on Dimitri." I stood up but Adrian caught my arm.

"No Rose. If the darkness is bad enough it's seeping into you who knows how bad it is for him. Let me go so it doesn't get worse for you."

"If it's that bad I don't want you anywhere near him. I'm going Adrian." I pulled away from him, grabbed my jacket and keys then walked to the door.

"Rose," he followed me, "please don't go alone."

I opened my front door and looked back at him. "It'll be easier that way."

"Easier for him to knock you out and kill you." Adrian smirked at me.

I shook my head and smiled at him. "I'll be fine and so will he."

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><p>I walked into the Ivashkov house and found it was empty which was strange. All the workers were gone yet the place was still spotless so I assumed they'd been there less than an hour ago. I walked through the long entrance hallway to the grand staircase at the center of the mansion. It wound up and through the home making it much more elaborate. Much to my chagrin Dimitri's room was on the top floor which meant I took the winding staircase all the way up to the fifth floor. Then I had to walk all the way to the end of the hall to his room only to open the door and find that he wasn't there. Now I was getting mad.<p>

I walked all the way back down the stairs and to the back of the house where the indoor pool was. "It took you long enough," he snapped once I walked through the glass door. The large room was dark with a few lights on in the pool which reflected just enough off the water for me to be able to see him clearly.

"Well I'm sorry for assuming you'd be in your room resting like you were sent home to do." I glared at him as he looked at me from where he rested in the Jacuzzi.

"And make things easier for you? Never." He chuckled darkly as he got out of the Jacuzzi and wrapped a towel around his lower half.

"Right, because you've made it so easy the past month," I snapped at him as he walked over to me.

"You could just stop being so proud and use the bond!" He yelled in my face, "Remember our bond? It's the reason you're my Guardian in the first place. The reason I'm stuck with you."

"You don't have to be stuck with me! You could've just let me die. God know it'd be better than being stuck together." I yelled back.

"You act like being stuck with me is a curse!"

"Well you don't act any better towards me." I was trying hard to control my temper and keep from yelling at him again but if he kept pushing me I would snap.

"Well maybe if you were such a narcissist and so obsessed with protecting me we could have a civilized conversation!"

"Oh I'm a narcissist? Maybe we could have a civilized conversation if I wasn't always saving your ass when you do something stupid!"

"Excuse me for wanting to have fun!" He started to walk away but I wasn't done wit him yet.

"You know what Dimitri why don't you just tell me what your real problem is!"

"You want to know what my real problem is?" He turned back to me with pitch black eyes. "Fine!"

The next thing I knew my head was exploding with unimaginable pain. Images of us together, smiling, laughing, fighting. Dimitri's memories of me. How he felt about me. Him watching me flirt with Adrian. The pain he dealt with knowing that he could never be with me. Everything he'd felt over the past two years that I'd been gone flooded my head and everything he'd done to try to chase away my memory but failed played out before my eyes. All of his emotions overwhelmed me and it was all I could do to keep standing. One of my hands reached out to brace myself against the wall while the other held my head. Dimitri stared at me the whole time keeping his memories and emotions in my head. And then it all stopped. Except one memory.

_"Dimitri stop!" His eyes connected with mine and his grip on the frame weakened a little. "This isn't you. This isn't what you want to do. Ok? You need to stop." I spoke softly to him and slowly he lowered his arm that was ready to throw the picture to his side and let go of the frame all together._

_I took it and turned to put it down but his arms flew around my waist holding me close to him, "No!" He shouted sounding so scared. "Please don't leave me Rose."_

_"I wasn't I was just going to put the frame…" The words died in my mouth as I saw just how vulnerable he was now and realized what he truly meant. "Dimitri I could never leave you." My hand was back on his face now, caressing his cheek, trying to soothe him._

_"I just—when I saw you with Adrian I just snapped and then when I was in your head and he asked you to guard him I just couldn't take it. I—Rose you can't leave me," his face fell into my neck and he started to cry, "You can't leave me."_

_I let the frame drop safely on to the ground then wrapped one arm around his back and the other hand stroked his hair. "Never, Dimitri. I will always be here." I whispered to him and it was true. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from him. I would always be here for him. _I'm never going to leave you_, I thought to him._

"You said you'd never leave me and you did." The words came out broken, more broken than he'd ever been, even in that memory. I looked up at him and the darkness in his eyes was gone, replaced with intense pain. "You promised to always be there and you weren't. And you're still not here. I don't know who you are but you're not my Roza."

Dimitri grabbed the door handle but my weak words stopped him. "You act like you're the only one that's been hurt. The only one to ever feel pain." He looked back at me ready to argue about how much more he'd suffered but I cut him off. "I was going to stay. Even after everything I would've told Tatiana no and stayed if I just had a reason to. Adrian and I were on the plane and he told me to look for you. Out of the million reasons I had to leave all I wanted was one to stay and I would have. I went to you through the bond and found you with Avery. It was just another reason why I didn't belong with you. I don't regret leaving or learning how to cope with my pain and I certainly don't regret leaving you. We were stupid to think we could be together. You're a Royal and I'm not, that's the way it's always has been and always will be."

"I would've changed that!" He yelled back at me with tears falling from his beautiful pain filled eyes. "I would have done everything to be with you if you would've just fought for me!"

"I did fight for you! Obviously it wasn't enough for you to return the favor. You chose Avery. You chose Tasha. You _chose_ to let me walk away and didn't come looking for me. And that's not my fault. Don't turn this around on me, because I did everything I could. It wasn't enough for you." I turned and walked out of the back door before he could see me cry.

I informed Tatiana that Dimitri was alive and was careful not to say that he was alright because I didn't know if that was true. A few hours later Adrian came to check on me and said the darkness was gone and I told him that I worked it out. He knew not to push for answers from me and for that I was grateful. After he went home that night I fell asleep dreaming of Dimitri's memories.

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><p>"Rose!" Someone shook me awake. I sat up startled to find it was Lissa. "Rose where is Dimitri?" My senses were on high alert as I shot out of bed and started getting dressed. "The maids came home to find his room a mess and he was no where to be found."<p>

"Was his phone there?" I asked as I pulled a hoodie and jeans on.

"Yes." She followed me out of my room and downstairs to my laptop.

"His car keys?" I asked as I pulled up the security footage.

"Yes, oh my god!" She gasped as she watched him destroy his room. The clock by his bed read three thirty so it was after our fight then once he became too tired to continue obliterating his room he sat and picked up his phone.

"Lissa stay here." I ordered and grabbed my cell along with my keys and stake.

"Rose," she called out to me.

"Stay and call Christian I don't want you here alone." I shut the door and ran to my car then dialed her number.

"I was wondering when you'd call." She sneered.

"Meet me at the edge of Court," I growled as I sped to the forest where I'd meet her.

"Your wish is my command," she laughed evilly then hung up.

I waited at the forest's edge for five minutes until I saw her car and watched her get out. She stocked over to me with a smirk on her lips. "Where is he, Natasha?"

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><p><strong>Review!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

"I was wondering when you'd call." She sneered.

"Meet me at the edge of Court," I growled as I sped to the forest where I'd meet her.

"Your wish is my command," she laughed evilly then hung up.

I waited at the forest's edge leaning on a tree for five minutes until I saw her car and watched her get out. She stocked over to me with a smirk on her lips. "Where is he, Natasha?"

"Where is who, Rose?"

"Dimitri! Where is Dimitri?" I could feel darkness starting to swell in me again as I tried to control my temper.

"Ohhh him," Tasha smiled baring her fangs at me. "He called me—obviously you know that because you called. He pleased with me to take his mind off you just like I always do. He came to me, so naively, just wanting to get away from you. So I did what he asked. I took him from you and now I'm going to take care of you permanently."

I barely had anytime to take a defensive stance before Tasha lunged at me with fire blazing in her hands. All my training took over and I grabbed her arms first knowing to keep the fire away from my face. Using Tasha's unbalanced weight I took control and threw her to the ground. She yanked me down with her and realizing that her hands weren't getting anywhere she extinguished the flames but began to heat her skin. The burning sensation in my hands was uncomfortable but not painful yet so I took my chance to elbow her in the face momentarily distracting her. I rolled her over and pinned her to the ground making sure to keep her arms firmly in my grip. "Where is he?" I growled.

"You'll never be able to find him without me," she chocked out. My knee that I pinned her down with dug into her upper back cutting making it her for her to do anything.

"Actually I can," I then released her arms and quickly grabbed her head and rammed it into the root of the tree I'd been leaning on. Effectively knocking her out but not killing her. I didn't have time to call for back up so I hope that leaving her there would not back fire on me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calmed my self, preparing for what I was about to do. "Please don't let me regret this," I whispered to myself as I slowly slipped deeper and deeper into the bond. Slowly the sound of the outside world faded as I focused on the sound of my heartbeat. Eventually I picked up the sound of another heartbeat that was keeping time with mine. I willed myself to follow the sound and found myself right where I needed to be. In Dimitri's head.

He was conscious, barely, and from what his memories told me Tasha had locked him in a small cabin not too far from where I was. What I didn't understand was why he was so tired, until I looked deeper into his thoughts. Tasha, the bitch she was, had drank from him, nearly drained him, after he told her he'd never loved her. She'd left him lying on the bed fighting for his life as she came to end mine. The blood lose was taking a heavy toll on him and he was fading fast. With ease I pulled out of his head and started through the forest to where I now knew the cabin was. It took me about three minutes to find it and once I did I ran to the door. Using all my strength I twisted the knob and once I heard the lock break I pushed the door open.

Dimitri was lying on the bed just like I'd last seen him, except now he was unconscious. "Dimitri," I ran over to him and sat beside him on the bed. "Dimitri, I need you to wake up," I shook him and slowly his eyes opened.

"Rose," he acknowledged me weakly.

"I need you to stay awake from me, ok?" Slowly I tried to pull him up, but his dead body weight was too much for me.

"I can't, Tasha—she—" He couldn't even force the words out without his eyes closing.

"I know," I caressed his face to get him to open his eyes again. "Hey you have to stay with me ok?"

"Why? You didn't stay with me. You didn't keep your promise." He mumbled weakly, closing his eyes again.

"Dimitri I have to get you out of here and I can't do that if you're unconscious." I chose to ignore what he'd said deciding it would be best if we talk about our fight another time.

"I won't make it out of here without blood," he words came out weaker than before.

"I know," I had already made up my mind on how I was going to get him out of here and it seemed that he'd finally caught on.

His eye snapped open, "No."

"There's no other choice."

"Rose, I'm not going to drink from you."

"We don't have any other option."

"Rose—"

"Stop wasting your energy. The faster we do this the faster I get you out of here." I leaned down so he would have easier access to my neck and waited for him to bite me.

He hesitated for a second then put his lips to my neck and kissed it. "I am so sorry," He whispered and then he sunk his teeth into me. The slight pain lasted for only a second until the endorphins took over. It took all my will power not to give into the high as Dimitri pulled away and slowly sat up. I stood up cautiously and held out my hand to pull him up. I didn't have time to focus on how amazing the bite felt or how the endorphins were starting to affect my body as I pulled Dimitri's arm over my shoulders to support him and lead him out of the cabin. The three minute run to the cabin before now took ten minutes as we walked slowly back to my car.

The lose of blood and endorphins were making me tired and weak, but I channel all of my training and forced myself to keep going. Finally we clear the trees and found my car as well as Tasha's.

"Is she dead?" Dimitri asked as we limped past Tasha's unmoving body to my car.

"No," I answered as I opened the passenger door and helped him in.

"Shame," Dimitri joked as he leaned back into the seat and I shut the door.

I walked quickly over to Tasha's body and picked her up and put her in the back seat. I saw Dimitri grimace as I got in the car and started driving to the medical clinic. "What?"

"Do you always have to do the right thing?" He asked as he closed his eyes. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer so I started to speed up.

"No, I just try not to do the wrong thing." We didn't speak anymore and once we were closer to the center of Court I pulled out my phone and called Lissa.

"Rose!" She sounded extremely worried and I didn't blame her.

"Lissa get to the clinic and tell them I'm bringing Dimitri. He's going to need a lot of blood and also inform Tatiana I have Tasha."

"I will," she answered then hung up.

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><p>I woke up in my bed and sat up slowly. The clock read 3 AM as I stood up and stretched my slightly sore muscles. Some where between getting Dimitri taken care of and dealing with Tasha I'd passed out from a combination of exhaustion with the endorphins. I must have slept for only a few hours because the sun was rising when we arrived at the clinic and now it was setting. I threw on a hoodie and some jeans then walked into my bathroom. I couldn't remember if I had been looked at last night so I was surprised to find that there wasn't a scratch or bruise on my face. When I saw this I looked to find the bite on my neck was completely gone as well. My hand ran over the spot on my neck to make sure I wasn't hallucinating and sure enough the bite was completely gone. Without really thinking I started walking out of my house as I threw my hair into a ponytail and started walking to the Ivashkov manor.<p>

The maids no longer reacted when I walked in the front door without knocking and walk up the stairs without an invitation. Once I reached Dimitri's door I hesitated for only a second then opened the door and walked in. The maids had cleaned everything perfectly and you couldn't even tell that Dimitri had destroyed most of his possessions only a day before. After looking around his room and seeing he wasn't there I was about to walk out when I saw the door to his balcony was open. I took a deep breath then walked outside into the setting sunlight.

Dimitri stood at the edge of his stone balcony with his hands on the railing as he looked out at the forest we had been in hours before. "I keep trying to figure out why I was stupid enough to go with her."

"You were distraught. You weren't thinking clearly." I said as I walked over to him.

"I was."

"No you weren't. You were angry; no one thinks clearly when they're angry." I stopped a few steps behind him not wanting to see his face.

"I still shouldn't have trusted her." He shook his head and looked down like he was trying to shake away what happened yesterday.

"It's over now. Everything's done and you're alive. That's all that matters."

Dimitri turned to me quickly looking outraged. "You think that's what I care about? I drank from you, Rose. I put you in danger. You could've been killed. And it would've been my fault." He started pacing in front of me as the wind picked up and blew his hair back.

"Dimitri it's my job. I—"

"Don't," he cut me off. "Please don't try to make all of this ok." He pleaded as he walked towards me and trapped my face him his hands so I could only look at him. "You were right about me making stupid decisions and no matter what I do it's always going to be you that gets hurt. That's not ok with me."

"Dimitri there was nothing you could do. Tasha was the one who hurt me, Tasha was the one who put you in danger and I wasn't going to let anything happen to you." My hands came over his and I laced my fingers through his. "It was my choice to come after you, mine to let you drink my blood, and mine to put you first. Nothing in this world matters to me if you're not in it."

"How did you find me?" His face was so close to mine and as he spoke his warm breath caressed my face. His scent flooded my senses and I knew there was no way to tell him so I showed him. I opened myself to him, everything I felt, everything I thought, everything I am was his. He saw how I found him, felt all of my emotions as I worried I wasn't going to get him to the clinic in time, everything I had held back for so long was there as if I was feeling it all over again. All these emotions I didn't even know were there I felt them all just like he did. When I saw him again at graduation I was awestruck by his beauty and the overwhelming urge to run into his arms was there, I just never opened my heart to feeling it. I relief I felt when I found him with the some girl at Lehigh and not dead. All of my memories from the past few months were spelled out for him like a book and he took it all in as his eyes never left mine.

"You used the bond." I just nodded because words would not come out of my mouth. A smile took over Dimitri's face and my heart stopped. I always loved it when he smiled like that; it made me feel as if I was home. And I was, but not completely. Before I had time to smile back at him, he started lowering his face to mine. His eyes never broke contact with mine as his lips inched closer to mine. Was I ready for this? Could I keep letting him in? Was this the right decision? All of these thoughts swirled in my head, but one was louder than all the rest and it wasn't even my thought.

_Shut up, Rose. And let me kiss you,_ Dimitri's voice in my head was something I never noticed how much I missed. But now I would never have to miss it again.

This time I did smile at him and then his lips covered mine. For the first time in two years I felt whole.

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><p><strong>It's not over yet I promise. <strong>

**Review please!**


	13. Chapter 13

In the blink of an eye a month had passed since Dimitri and I had kissed on his balcony. To say that we had completely reconciled our differences and solved all our problems would be a lie, but we were working things out as best we could. Things were never going to be easy for us, living at the Royal Court meant that for the time being things between us could not be public however that was alright with me. In less than a few weeks Dimitri would be starting college which in turn meant I would be too and there we could act however we wanted. In the human world Dimitri and I could just be Dimitri and I; secretly I was looking forward to that.

"Rose," Adrian's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I pulled my eyes from the window in Dimitri's study and looked over at him.

"There's something I think you need to hear."

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><p>Adrian lead me just across the plaza to the guardian headquarters. I followed him to an interrogation room that was already occupied and had many people crowded outside of it. Many of them being Royal Guardians because Queen Tatiana was inside the room with none other than Robert Duro, brother to Victor Dashkov the man responsible for my current state. I fought my better judgement to burst in the room and remove the Queen from danger, instead I found Hans to get some answers. "Hathaway, I'm glad you're here."<p>

"I want to know everything."

He handed me Duro's file, "We found him wandering not too far from here. We wouldn't have thought anything suspicious of it if he hadn't been carrying this," Hans gestured to the copy of a letter that Robert had been carrying with him when the guardians found him. "It's a threat, but not against the Moroi." I scanned the letter and realized the letter was not written by Robert Doru's hand, but by his brother. Hans was correct, the threat was not directed towards the Moroi. It was a very detailed letter, describing all the techniques Victor planned on using to torture the target of his aggression and anger. "It's a threat against you, Rose."

Time stood still, my world fell silent, everything ceased to matter because somehow against all odds Victor had found me again. I was foolish to believe I could escape, especially because he knew the reason I had trained so hard in the first place. Of course he could trace me back to the Royal Court, where Dimitri was, he was the Moroi I was bound to and swore to protect. But how could I protect him when I was not at all sure I could protect myself. Finally pulling my eyes away from the letter in Doru's file, I look directly at Hans, "I want to speak to him."

"We have strict orders from Her Majesty not to allow either you or Lord Ivaskov into that room," Hans spoke with clear authority and I knew there was no way I would be getting near Robert anytime soon. "Unless," Hans started, "you and only you go in there with an armed guardian."

I agreed in a heartbeat, "I will take Eddie Castile with me, sir."

Twenty minutes later I was sitting in the same interrogation room with Eddie beside me and Robert in front of me handcuffed to the table. "Rosemarie Hathaway, always a pleasure to be in the presence of such lovely but deadly flower such as yourself."

"Cut the crap Robert," I fought to remain calm, "why does Victor have you doing his dirty work again?"

"Rosie, always so quick to get to the point. It was such a shame Victor made you so tough, so many thorns does ruin such a beautiful rose." The distant look in his eyes made me realize he was never going to give up Victor's scheme, however he may still lead me to Victor.

"Where is he?"

"Now Rosemaire, you know better than to be so indirect. Be specific, that's what you learned. That's watch Victor taught you."

The mention of Victor's teachings almost caused my level headed facade to crack. "Where is your brother, Victor Dashkov?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Good Rosemarie. Glad to see all of our teaching as not gone to waste." He smiled, "My brother is around. Closer than you would like I'm sure, but that is beside the point. The fact of the matter is he will find you when and where he wants to find you, no sooner, no later. Until such time that he comes for you, and he will come for you, I suggest you make peace with whatever demons you have left here. There is no escape Rosemarie, he's coming to remove your thorns and rip you from the safety of your bush."

"That's enough! Take him away," Tatiana's authoritative voice cut into Robert's mad threats and the guardians hauled him away.

"Rose? Rose are you ok?" Eddie's worried voice caused me to tea my eyes from Robert as he was pulled down the hall to the jail cells. The anxious look in his eyes made me reflect on myself, was I ok? No I definitely was not ok. Robert's words has caused me to start breathing hard, the intensity he spoke with sent chills all over my body, he was so confident in his brother's abilities and I was too. I knew Victor was good because I had learned almost everything I knew from him and that terrified me. Just the thought of how deadly he was caused me to scan the room again to ensure he wasn't already here.

"I'm-" I couldn't find one reassuring word to comfort his now distraught gaze so I simply nodded my head. It wasn't everyday my life was so gravely threatened and no training prepared me for it. "I must go." I stood and excused myself quickly, ignoring anyone that tried to stop me.

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><p>My instincts told me to run, my training told me to stay because Court was slightly safer than being out on my own, my heart told me to go to Dimitri but that would only put him at risk, in the end my head won out over all of them and I wound up somewhere I hadn't even known I was going to. I sat in the grass in front of the beautiful, hand carved, headstone that read<p>

_Olena Belikov_

_Loving mother and friend_

Dimitri's mothers life was complicated and nowhere near easy. She was an incredibly strong woman, one Rose looked up to more than she did her own mother. Olena had not been Dimitri's father's wife, but she had been the love of his life. After her untimely death, Dimitri's father fell apart, then when it was discovered she had an affair with another man in her hometown of Baia the pain was too much for him to bear. Dimitri's father took his own life and left his teenage son in the care of his grandmother, Tatiana. It was hard times for the Ivashkov family and even harder times for Dimitri. That was around when the accident happened and he saved my life. Everyday in some small way I wish he hadn't.

"Somehow I knew you'd be here," his voice alone soothed her racing thoughts a little, but also made her heart race.

"I figured Tatiana would have told you to keep as far away from me as possible," I said without turning away from the gravestone.

"She actually sent me to find you seeing as I am the best at that and I didn't want anyone else with you right now," Dimitri sat next to me in the grass and looked at me. "Will you tell me what happened?"

"Robert delivered Victor's threat and-"

"Not that," he cut me off. "Tell me what happened with Victor and why he wants you so badly." His voice was calm but I knew him better than to believe he was so at ease with the situation.

"It's a long story..."

"We have time."

I took a deep breath, "Victor Dashkov is a Moroi, but the deadliest Moroi on this Earth. He trained all his life to be able to defend himself and prove Moroi can fight brother Robert is a Spirit user like you. Both of them trained me in their own ways to become a better guardian. I had spent months learning from different guardians, but when I arrived at Victor's I finally felt like I was really going to learn things that would make me so much better, but I was wrong."

_This was the fourth month I had been at Victor's and he was no more pleased with me than the day I walked through his door. "Get up Rosemarie," he spat at me. "You are not finished."_

_I was exhausted beyond the point of fatigue. Victor had me sleep outside in the blistering cold again last night, then woken me up at dawn this morning to continue combat training without food or water. This was not unlike Victor, his motto was 'adapt to survive' and for the past week he had been doing this. I had one meal a day, if you can even call bread and cheese a meal, with a small cup of water then it was back out to the cold._

_"Get up!" He commanded again, this time with more force. As much as I willed my body to move I could not. "Hathaway!" Victor pushed himself off of the wall he rested on and stormed towards me. The man I had been sparring that knocked me down quickly left the room as Victor stood over me. "I said get up."_

_"I can't." I replied weakly._

_"What?" The edge to his voice was sharp and deadly._

_"I cannot get up."_

_In a split second his face turned murderous and his eyes filled with rage. His hand swooped down and gripped my hair which he used to yank me off the floor. My hands rushed to pry his off of my hair as I cried out in pain. "Now you can defend yourself huh? What if you and Dimitri are captured and you get knocked down are you going to tell the Strigoi that you 'can't get up' to defend your charge? What will you do Rosemarie?! Let your bondmate be killed because you could not get up?" Victor had pulled me all the way off the floor so I was eye level with him, but I was still too weak to support myself on my own two feet. "Answer me! What will you do?"_

_"I will defend him." I responded, trying to sound as confident as possible._

_"So defend him, Rosemarie. Fight back!" Victor barked the orders in my face._

_"I can't." My voice sounded weak, whine even, so unlike my usual sarcastic tone._

_Before I could react Victor released my hair causing me to fall then unleashed a strong kick to my stomach sending me backwards on the floor. I collided with some targets and it was clear there was no escaping Victor's wrath. I lost track of how long he tossed me around and used me as his punching bag. Minutes became hours, I soon started wishing I would just pass out so I would no longer have to endure the pain, but my body would not stop fighting. Victor continued to order me to fight back, "defend Dimitri" he commanded, but I could not harness the strength to defend myself. I was too weak, Victor had been planning this attack all week. The lack of food, harsh sleeping conditions, it was so obvious he wanted to break me and he has succeeded. There was no way I could have prevented this ambush. This was no longer my training facility this was my prison._

_Eventually Victor became bored and left me. It was only a matter of time before one of his men found me and carried me to my room, where I would be locked away until tomorrow, when I would no doubt be beaten again. With nothing else to do and no other things to think about my mind drifted to the one person I wished I could be with more than anything. The reason I endured this new torture and all the pain. I could never speak his name, but not because I feared the bond. The first thing I learned was how to control it and completely block it out. I did not think or speak his name because of my feelings. My feelings were what got me in trouble, that was the first thing Victor drilled into me, the next was that love makes you vulnerable, but it was impossible for me not to love him. I could never tell Victor that, if he ever knew he would kill me. But then again I was probably going to die tonight anyway._

_Black dots danced at the edges of my vision and I knew the end was near. I had felt death before and it was as if the feeling welcomed me. As if it had been waiting for me all along. "This is it," I mumbled to myself. My eyes could no longer stay open so I stopped fighting the urge to stay awake and let go. "Goodbye Di-"_

_"Rose!"_

"He abused you," the words escaped Dimitri's lips in a growl. I focused on his face and had never seen him so livid. Of course I'd seen him angry before, with our past of course he'd been angry at me multiple times but this was different. This was pure rage. "I will kill him, I swear to God, Roza, I will kill him." His whole body was trembling, I've only heard so much emotion in his voice when darkness has overtaken him. This Dimitri was dangerous, deadly perhaps, and he frightened me. His body was tense and his face was contorted in anger.

"Hey," I pulled his face down so he could look in my eyes. "I'm alright, I'm right here."

"But he could have killed you. He almost took you away from me." His words came out in snarls, this was much worse than any of the other darkness induced rage he had experienced before. In his eyes I could see his hatred for Victor, his need to end the life of the Moroi that almost ended my life, and I could see his calculating all the ways to torture him once Victor was captured.

"No," I had to stop this, "Dimitri come back to me. This isn't you. You don't kill people. You don't plan to torture a man. You are kind, you are good, you are strong and you can fight this."

Little by little the chocolate brown that I loved so much returned to his eyes. His face softened and his body relaxed. "Roza." His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me into his lap and held me. His breathing was returning to normal and I could feel his heartbeat slowing back to the usual pattern that I have come to memorize.

"I'm right here," I assured him as I buried my face in his chest and held on to him tightly.

"I will not let him hurt you, I promise." Then he kissed me with so much passion that I forgot a vindictive psychopath would stop at nothing until I was dead.

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><p><strong>Sorry it's taken so long! <strong>

**Major writers block.**

**I hope this is a good enough update.**


	14. Chapter 14

The next day was a strenuous one to say the least. I was in and out of meetings all day long. The guardians were strategizing, coming up with emergency evacuation plans should Victor been seen near court or somehow infiltrate the grounds, safe houses were being scouted out, Alchemists were researching safe cities near and far should the need arise, nothing could or would be left to chance. The final meeting of the day was the smallest Rose had attended, it consist of six people: Adrian, Abe, Hans, Lissa, Dimitri and Tatiana. This was also the meeting Rose dreaded the most, the meeting to decide her future. This was not something she felt the Queen or any of her friends should be wasting their time one, but this thought immediately caused Dimitri to scold her through the bond. _You are worth all of this_. Dimitri sat across the long mahogany table from her, Tatiana to his left and Hans to his right, but that did not stop him from giving her a long meaningful look. _I do not care if they discover us Rose. You are worth everything. _The passion in his thoughts made Rose's heart swell.

Only Lissa, who sat on Rose's left, and Adrian, who sat to Rose's right, noticed the exchange between the lovers. Abe resided at the head of the table, obviously he was in charge of the meeting. He looked so relaxed in the large luxurious chairs that were in this meeting hall that was clearly reserved for high royal meetings. Rose determined this from all the expensive furnishings and the large chandelier that hung from the ceiling.

The large door at the opposite end of the room from where Abe sat opened and a familiar face entered. "Guardian Tanner, how nice to see you again." Abe smiled warmly at the man who sat down at the other end of the table.

"The pleasure is all mine Mr. Mazur," Guardian Tanner smile back as if the two men were old friends.

"Shall we begin?" Tatiana prompted for the meeting to commence and both men nodded. "Very well, now Guardian Tanner you have been made aware of the current situation, in light of recent events and events past we believe that Rose's life is in danger. This matter is of the highest importance," I tried to contradict her however I was not allowed to speak as she continued to speak, "which is why we have brought you in to advise us all on the best course of action. You are most familiar with the now labeled terrorist Victor Dashkov and I invite you to assist in finding the best way possible to combat this threat. You will also be in charge of the safety of Rosemarie Hathaway, your former student."

A discussion began about the possible steps that could be taken to ensure my safety. Safe houses, small towns, isolation, I'm pretty sure Abe mentioned he had a submarine that he was not against locking me in. "Will you all just hold on a second," I finally intervened after an hour of pointless conversation. "I am not running from him anymore. I refuse to hide."

"Rose," Adrian spoke first, "the last time you were left alone with this guy he used you as a punching dummy and a blood bag. God knows what else he's done to you, I will not let him get close to you ever again." The fire rose in his eyes and I knew this would be a hard battle to fight but I was nothing if not determined.

"It is not your job to protect me. I have had more training than Victor has had in all of his life time. I can take care of myself."

"With all due respect Rose, Victor is lethal. He wants you dead, he will not hesitate. You know this. Do not think of it as running away or hiding, think of it as buying time to find another means of defense." Mikhail's idea of using sound logic only aggravated me further.

"Putting it in fancy terms does not change the fact that I am basically abandoning my charge to save myself." I argued.

"We all believe this is worth the risk Rose. It is better to have you alive somewhere else than in danger here trying to protect everyone," Lissa's soothing voice should have calmed me like it always did, but the fact that they were all ready to send me away instead of letting me use my training to fight this was driving me mad.

"You Highness," I addressed Tatiana with respect, "you sent me around the world to train and become the best. Let my utilize that training here. I will be ready for Victor do not make me retreat."

"The decision has already been made Rose. The only thing that can be done now is to choose where you will go." Tatiana looked like she would like nothing more than for me to stay which caused me to wonder.

"Who made this decision?" I looked down the table towards my father believing it to be him.

He shook his head and I was astonished at the voice that spoke, "It was me." I looked directly across from me and could not believe those were the first words he had spoken since I entered._ I promised you I would not let him hurt you._

"Dimitri is correct, you cannot stay here. This is of course the first place Victor came looking for you. Leigh will be next and then he will search you old school. Sooner or later he will find you, with our planning it will be later and we can use that time to our advantage. I will go with you, train you more, we will also track Victor and try to find his weakness." Rose would give Mikhail credit, he did know how to sell an idea, and even she was impressed.

"This will be good Rose," Lissa encouraged.

"What about Dimitri?" The question seemed of little importance, however if his future college could potentially be compromised Rose would not allow him to go, no matter how much she had supported the idea in the beginning.

"I am going with you," Dimitri stated as if it were a no brainer.

"You certainly are not," I snapped. A look of shock crossed his face for a second then he recovered and channeled his confusion into the bond. "If Victor finds me, he will use you as blackmail and I cannot allow that." I did not specify who Victor would use Dimitri against, but I think it was clear to both of us that it would be against me.

"Rose is right," Tatiana agreed, "you must remain here at Court. We will postpone your enrollment into school until such time that our world is safe. I will not have the future King's life in constant danger. Should the need arise we have a safety plan in place to reunite you with your Guardian and keep you both safe." Tatiana continued to assure us that everything had been thoroughly planned out and that they would both be separately briefed on the strategies.

Eventually it was decided Rose and Mikhail would travel to a small town Sydney had located in West Virginia. Adrian was momentarily outraged he could not go along, however realize that he was nearly as important as Dimitri and could be used as collateral as well. The meeting was then dismissed and Rose was instructed to go straight to her room and pack. This allowed no time for her to catch up with Mikhail, however the flight was a long one so Rose decided she could do that then.

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><p>As Rose finished her packing there was a knock on her door. Based on the perfect timing she only needed one guess to figure out who it was. She opened her door and there stood Dimitri. The two were both at a loss for words. Neither was happy with the situation, nor could they decide if they were mad at the other and wanted to blame them, in the end it was a mutual decision to forget whatever animosity they were feeling as just enjoy the few hours they had left. This whole revelation took place without words, in a matter of second, and once the decision was made, there was only one thing to do.<p>

Dimitri entered Rose's room, then shut the door, and locked it behind him. When he turned back to face her, Rose was only a few centimeters from him, so close his breath tickled her face. Dimitri's hand reached out to caress Rose's cheek and she leaned in to his touch. His fingers brushed her hair as her long brown locks hung free just like he liked it. The sensation of burning desire that always possessed her when she was around Dimitri started to cease her. "I will not lose you. Not to Victor or anyone else that threatens to take you from me." He used the hand that was now tanged in her hair to gently tilt her head up so she could look in his eyes. "You are _mine_." The lust was clear in his eyes, the desperation in his voice, Rose never really needed to be reminded that Dimitri wanted her, but now it was clear as day. Dimitri was hers body and soul, nothing was going to keep them apart. "When this is all over promise me that we can go away. I will take you anywhere, just tell me that you will still love me even if it's ten, twenty, or even thirty years from now. I have lived too long without you and I would not be doing all of this if it was not for you and your safety. I just cannot let you go without knowing that you plan on coming back, without hearing the promise leave you lips."

In that moment Rose did not care that she very well could not keep the promise she was going to make. Victor could kill her and she could possibly leave Dimitri forever. But death was always a possibility in her life. She had died before and he had brought her back. Maybe this was a sign that they were meant to be together no matter what. Whatever the reason, Rose was standing here today with the man she loved and nothing would keep her from assuring him that she would come back to him. "I was meant for you. Nothing will keep me from coming back to you, I promise."

That was the only assurance Dimitri needed before he crashed his lips to mine. The only thought I had in that second was that I was glad he at least let me finish packing, because we were both in for a long and rough night. My thoughts made Dimitri chuckle as he lifted me off the ground with ease, never breaking our kiss, and carried me to bed.

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><p><strong>Please review :)<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you to everyone for the constructive criticism, I really do appreciate it. I don't think there are any point of view issues in this chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy and also look at my other stories please.**

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><p>You cannot imagine what it feels like to be ripped away from your friends and family for a second time. Mikhail boarded the plane first and as I followed him up the stairs I spared one last glance back at the people I love. Dimitri, Lissa, Christian, and Adrian all stood as close as the Guardians would let them. Seeing as I was basically a safety hazard I was not surprised they were only allowed to stand a few steps from the SUVs should the need arise that the Moroi needed to be quickly secured. Queen Tatiana stood only slightly closer, she had been the last to speak to me but I did not want to focus on that right now. Abe was closest, standing at the bottom of the steps up to the plane as he was speaking to the pilot. It wouldn't surprise me at all if my father was explaining to the pilot all the creative ways he could torture him should any harm come to me.<p>

I had to remind myself that this was not goodbye. I would see all of them again. Eddie, who would be guarding Dimitri in my absence, would keep my lover safe. Christian would help Lissa cope without me like before and when this is all over this time her best friend would come back to her. Adrian stood alone. Sydney would be meeting Mikhail and I when we arrived at our destination as she is the Alchemist in charge of my safety. This would be hard on Adrian, because he could not come with me like we were both used to and because he would be separated from Sydney. I could see the pain in his eyes and I prayed Lissa would be able to help him through this difficult parting.

"Rose," Mikhail's voice called my attention to the plane's entrance. "We must go."

I nodded in response and slowly ducked in to the plane.

_This is the hardest thing I have had to do._ The agony in Dimitri's thoughts was so clear it caused my heart to stop. I gripped the closest seat for support and inhaled slowly to regain some sense of stability. Dimitri's emotions have to be pretty strong to affect me like this and for a split second I considered running off the plane and into his arms. I realized that would not accomplish anything except exposing our love. I would still have to leave him and be without him, but then again I was never completely without him_. Dimitri, breathe._ I thought, channeling calming emotions towards him. _I am always going to be here, nothing can change that. Remember what I said last night, I love you and I swear I'm coming back. _

_I just hate the thought of not seeing you. Hearing you thoughts and seeing you in dreams will never compare to really seeing you, touching you, holding you, feeling you. I finally had you back and was with you now I'm losing you all over again. When we made love last night, when I held you in my arms, every emotion, every kiss, ever touch, we felt together and I cannot live without all of that. Without you I will be in agony. Watching you get on that plane and not being able to kiss you goodbye broke my heart. I cannot live another day in hiding, when you return please say I can kiss you, hold you, love you publicly. I will take whatever ridicule, any resentment from Tatiana I will deal with, I will take anything the world can throw at me and I will bare it all because watching you leave without being able to say a proper goodbye is worse than all of that._

_Dimitri,_ tears of joy pooled in my eyes.

_Rose I am serious._ To prove his point Dimitri pulled me into his head. I saw the plane I now sat on. I could feel how much he did not want me to leave, how much he regretted all the time he had wasted trying to ignore his feeling for me, and how he longed to be on the plane next to me. We could both hear the plane roar to life and if it were possible Dimitri became more depressed. _Think about last night love, please remind me that you love me._

I pulled back into my own head and flipped through my memories of last night for him. The feel of his silky soft hair as I ran my fingers through it over and over. The way my heart raced when he ran his hands up my thighs. How the kisses he place all over my body set my body on fire. The way I ached for him to touch me like that again. I remembered every detail, every touch, every moment we spent together. I remembered how I woke up this morning in his arms and I did not want to leave. My head was on his chest and his steady heartbeat had caused me to slowly awaken. Dimitri was still fast asleep so I took those few minutes to admire his face, his body, every part of him. My fingers traced up his chest, to his strong jaw, then wound themselves into his hair. Gradually Dimitri's warm eyes fluttered open and landed on Rose. They laid together in bed just looking at one another, committing each other to memory until they would see each other again. Dimitri and I relived that memory together and we were both so deeply entranced in the memory that we did not notice the plane had taken off until it was too late.

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><p>Days passed, then weeks, then slowly months without a word. Summer turned to fall and before I could blink she had fallen into a routine of training and researching. In the mornings Mikhail and I woke before the sun rose to train for ending hours, then in the afternoon Sydney and I would attempt to track Victor, whether it be calling and following up leads we had found on him even if it meant sometimes traveling to another State. They always lead to dead ends and that angered me so much. My body and soul ached for Dimitri in ways I though could surely kill me. Then at night Mikhail would go out to a nearby forest and practice survival tactics. No one else was aware of the fact the Mikhail, Sydney, and I traveled all across the US, that would definitely be a safety hazard. It was risky traveling so much but Sydney had good connections with the Alchemists and I trusted her to keep us safe.<p>

Since the three of them lived outside of the Moroi world they had to live on a human schedule. I loved seeing the sun and being awake during a normal person's daytime, but that meant Dimitri and I's sleeping schedules barely coincided. Our dreams together lessened after the first few weeks due to how busy Dimitri became with school, but we never failed to share thoughts. Whenever there was a hard question Dimitri did not understand I would help him work through it, sometimes it would lead to my own demise if I was sparring with Mikhail. When we were in high school it would annoy me, but now I laughed. If Dimitri was in a meeting with Royals and could not decide which side of an argument to take he would ask me, and we would decide together, even if I was in the middle of a search. The plus side was I had become really good at multitasking.

Slowly the months increase and we would be going into the fifth month I had been hiding. Christmas was getting close and I felt awful that we had found nothing. Not only was this keeping me from Dimitri, but Mikhail and Sydney were also being kept from their lovers. However they had been without contact for five months, I was lucky to be bonded with my love. I wished there was something I could do for them, but I knew there would be nothing. They would never agree to leave me and I could not go anywhere until Victor was found.

I woke up on Christmas day to find it was snowing. I smiled and tried to think of Dimitri. I hoped the I had woken early enough that he would still be a little coherent and could feel me calling out to him, but I felt nothing. I did not let that bother me too much as I got up and ran downstairs to find the little tree Sydney had put up and decorated had presents all around it. A smile took over my face and soon Mikhail and Sydney joined me, then together we sat and opened presents. _Merry Christmas love,_ once again I tried to reach out to Dimitri, but felt no reply.

It wasn't until later that day that I had become truly concerned. Mikhail had excused himself to take a phone call which was unlike him, then came back a few minutes later, handed the phone to Sydney then she left the room as well. The two of them never kept secrets from me and I became curious. I stood and was about to go find them when there was a knock on the door. Instead I went to answer it but there was no one there, there was however a small package on the door step. I grabbed it and saw it was addressed to me so I shut the door and began to open it. The box only contained a letter which was also addressed to me, but the writing on the letter was much different than the one on the box. This writing I knew. I ripped open the envelope and began to read it.

Dear Rosemarie,

Now that you have received this you must know I have known your location since the beginning and I will come for you whenever I please. I warn you not to run, your punishment will just be more severe. I knew you were tracking me and I was so entertaining to continuously watch you fail. I have and always will be a step ahead of you little girl. There is so much you have not learned, things Mikhail cannot teach you.

You must be wondering what he could possibly be getting phone calls about, seeing as you are supposed to be in hiding. Perhaps you should check on your bondmate? But you cannot, your lover happens to be unavailable and has been since this morning. One of my followers paid him a visit this morning while he was out for his late night jog. Those pesky schedule differences must really be taking a toll on your relationship. Anyway, I cannot promise he will live after the damage that has been done to him. Too bad he cannot heal himself.

No one is safe Rose. No one can hide from me. I will find you. Until you are mine, the peple you love will continue to get hurt. Do not test my patience. Do not run and I will be seeing you soon.

Merry Christmas,

Victor

Rage burned in my veins as I ripped and tore the letter into little pieces. Mikhail and Sydney found me with a pile of scraps on the floor. I wasted no time but before I could get a single question out Mikhail held his phone out to me. I took it and put it to my ear, "Hello?"

"Rose," it was Tatiana, "Dimitri was attacked earlier this morning and is currently in critical condition in the medical wing."


	16. Chapter 16

The next few hours passed as a blur. All I knew was that I had to get home to Dimitri and that was what I was going to do. I would not surrender to Victor even if he continued to terrorize everyone I love, because giving in to him would solve nothing. If I died by his hand no one would be there to completely protect Dimitri and I could not leave him. Once we exited the jet and climbed into the familiar black SUV that would take us to Dimitri I finally took time to process what had happened.

_"Dimitri was attacked by a Moroi, an air user, from what Guardian Castile told us the man did not physically harm Dimitri. The Moroi acted alone and Guardian Castile subdued him before he could kill Dimitri. However Dimitri is in critical condition now and none of the doctors can decipher what exactly is keeping him from waking up or responding in anyway." I almost interrupted her in outrage but she stopped me. "Before you explode Rose," Tatiana did know me well. "Lissa and Adrian are with him now using Spirit to attempt to get to the bottom of this mystery."_

_"Can I come home?" It was torture for me to keep my emotions at bay. I could not let Tatiana discover how much I truly loved her nephew. But there was just no way I could stay here knowing he had been harmed. I would rather have him with me and at risk than away from me and in basically a coma. _

_"There is a jet waiting for you now."_

After many agonizing hours later I was fortunate enough to be practically running through the medical wing to get to my bond mate. I knew exactly which room was his when I saw am impossible amount of Royal Guardians and doctors. Lissa was standing in the crowd and was the first to see me. "Rose!" She ran towards me with open arms and I hugged her back tightly. "I have missed you so much," my best friend let go of me and I could see the tears welling in her eyes. "Rose, Adrian and I tried everything. Anything we could think of and it didn't work. Nothing is working Rose." Lissa sobbed and fell back into my arms.

"Liss, you need to let me go so I can go check on him," I coaxed her out of my arms and into the safety of Christian's arms. I gave him a small smile which he returned as a welcome home present.

I maneuvered through the crowd with little difficulty. Whenever a Guardian saw it was me they quickly removed themselves and anyone else from my path. Everyone knew I was Dimitri's sanctioned Guardian so of course they would assume I was back for my charge, none of them suspected me to be his worried lover. Once I made it to the door I found Adrian waiting for me. "I would have thought you'd be with Sydney by now," I meant for my tone to be joking, but it came out more bitter than I had intended. It was selfish of me to want Adrian to be here for me like he always was when I had been the one to keep his girlfriend away from him.

Adrian rolled his eyes, knowing that I didn't really mean to sound so rude, "I will have plenty of time with her in the future. Right now I need to be here for you and my cousin. I assume Lissa told you how much effort we both have put into healing him, but nothing has worked. Originally we tried healing his lungs because that looked to be how the Moroi tortured him. There is a way for air users to suffocate their victims by removing all the air from their bodies causing the lungs to collapse. Once his lungs were healed his breathing returned to normal, but he's still in some sort of coma. Lissa and I believe that his Spirit somehow shut down his body knowing he was under attack. There is no other explanation."

"How do we get him back?" I asked.

"We were hoping you had been able to contact him? Share thoughts, get in his head, anything at all?"

"I haven't been able to reach him since this morning. It's like he's-" I could not bring myself to say the word dead but Adrian understood.

"I think the best thing to do now is for you to spend some time alone with him and see if by some miracle you can get in his head." Adrian turned the door knob and held the door open for me.

"But what if I can't?" There was a slightly desperate plea in my voice. My heart begged for him to have another plan in case I couldn't find my love.

"Rose you have been the only person who has always been able to bring him back, always been able to save him. I have no doubts that you can do it again." Adrian spoke with confidence and I could see he had all the faith in the world in me.

I took a deep breath and entered the room then Adrian shut the door behind me. The room was white, white walls, white tile floor, white furnishings, white equipment, white cabinets on the walls, even the curtains over the large window were white. The only color in the room was Dimitri. His skin was paler than I remember, his hair was still the rich dark brown color that I loved and I prayed that I would get to see his gorgeous eyes that were almost the same color. Dimitri wore a white hospital gown and had a small needle in his arm that was hooked up to a bag full of water to keep him hydrated. I wondered why there was no blood bag in here and if he had feed recently, but the answer to this problem couldn't be so simple. I grabbed the white desk chair that was obviously in here for his doctor and rolled it closer to the bed. I sat down and hesitantly laced my fingers through Dimitri's limb ones. His hand was cold and this made me worry so much more. My only comfort was that he was breathing and I could make out a faint heartbeat.

Taking another deep breath to steady myself, I closed my eyes and tried to reach out to him. I thought about Dimitri, all the time I had spent with him, whether it was good times or bad times, anytime I was around him there was just this gravitational pull towards him. I focused on that feeling, the emotions that made me draw near to him, love, lust, the passion we shared that fueled us, and it was what made us who we were. We were so different yet perfectly alike, which made me hate him for a long time, but then again I never could hate him. I loved him, with every fiber of my being. Everything that I was belonged to him. The pull that made me gravitate towards him was not just because of the bond, it was because we were meant for each other. No one else would protect him like I would and no one would ever fight for me as fiercely as he would.

I could feel it now, the overwhelming sense of him. The way he smelled, the sound of his laugh, the way his eyebrow rose when he playfully questioned me, the feel of his arms draped over my waist, the heat that radiated from his bare chest, his breathing, his heartbeat. Everything that made up Dimitri Belikov was swarming my memories. _Come back to me, Dimitri. I need you._ All of my hopes were riding on this moment. _Baby, please just open your eyes. I'm here, I came back for you_. If he could just somehow let me know that he was alive and that he would be ok then everything would be worth the separation. _Dimitri please._ I could feel how close I was to breaking through. Dimitri was there, he was so close to her, but there was a wall between them. I recognized the feeling from when Dimitri and I used to practice keeping each other out of our heads. Adrian and Lissa had been right. Spirit was what was keeping him from waking up, but I was so close to breaking down that wall. Just a little further, I just had to push a little harder and-.

I felt a jolt that caused me to gasp and yank my hand from Dimitri's. My eyes flew open hoping to see the milk chocolate brown of Dimitri's eyes, but all I saw was white and his pale skin. Dimitri did not wake up. In a stupid and desperate attempt to wake him up, that I knew that doctor's had probably already tired, I found a small syringe in one of the cabinets and cut my wrist. I jammed my wrist into his mouth and silently prayed I would feel his fangs sink into my flesh. No such feeling came. After minutes of waiting I pulled my wrist from his mouth and sat back down. The cut had already began to clot and was no longer bleeding. A defeated feeling washed over me as I looked at the white clock and saw that I had been in here for over two hours with no success. Without any more ideas, or stupid plans I rested both my arms on the edge of the bed, laid my head down on them and began to weep. A life without Dimitri meant nothing to me. It could hardly be called a life at all. I would not, could not live without him. _I love you Dimitri. I always will. _I would find Victor and kill him for this. For taking the love of my life from me. Once I had completed that task I would leave this world, like I was supposed to long ago and then be reunited with Dimitri. That was the only acceptable solution. If he was going to die, so was I.

Something about the mention of my death cause a feeling of anxiety. Feelings stirred and I didn't understand where they came from. I was not afraid of dying, but I felt terrified at the thought of no longer existing. So many conflicting emotions flew around in my head as if they were generating on their own. Anger, happiness, fear, remorse, excitement, all-consuming joy, and then disbelief. That emotion, disbelief, was my own and his.

"Roza," I slowly lifted my head, afraid this was a dream, and looked up at his amazing, endless, beautiful, brown eyes.

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><p><strong>Please review and the next update will be soon.<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

The beeping of the heart monitor increased and I was positive this was not a dream. "How are you-? I thought that you-. I just-." I was practically speechless. Nothing seemed to come out right and no words could describe just how unbelievable this was. Dimitri was alive, staring back at me, and I was here with him. In this moment nothing could be more perfect. "I thought you were dead."

"I thought I was too," he smiled weakly. "But then I felt you, every little piece of you, I remembered everything about you, and I couldn't leave you." His fingers lightly trailed up and down my arms then found their way to my cheek.

"God, I love you," my words came out breathlessly as his fingers caressed my face and set fire everywhere they touched.

"I know," a full smile took over Dimitri's face and I could tell his strength was returning.

"You can't ever do this to me again." My hand came up and grabbed his then pulled it down my face to my lips where I kissed his palm. I closed my eyes to fight back tears and leaned into his touch.

I think Dimitri knew he couldn't promise that something like this would never happen again. He was the future King and people would want him dead and no matter what he said I knew that, so he did the only thing he could. His hand slipped from mine, into my hair and gentle he pulled my face up to his. My eyes met his for a second and I saw how much he missed me. I could see the dark circles under his worn eyes and I regretted leaving him again. I should have known leaving would not help anything and I should have stayed to protect my bondmate. _Stop beating yourself up and let me kiss you._

Dimitri's lips crashed into mine with so much hunger and love that I felt dizzy. His emotions flooded through me and I could feel everything. All of the time he spent without me wishing I would come home, the sadness he felt when he knew he would have to wake up without me another day; when Dimitri had realized the Moroi was there to murder him, he almost wished he had succeeded.

I pulled away from him and looked at my lover, astonished. "You wanted to die?"

"Do you have any idea of what it was like without you? Never seeing you, holding you, I told you I that when you came back I was done hiding this and I am. I love you, Rose. Every perfection, every flaw ever minor detail about you I have memorized and fallen in love with. I will not let you go, I cannot let you go anymore. Whatever happens we will face it together."

"You don't think it was just as awful for me? Just hearing your voice, seeing through your eyes, it was never enough. Every lead we got I followed until the very end and every time there was nothing. All I wanted was to come home and run back into your arms. But the thought of you dying, being gone forever, that would kill me."

"I know," he nearly spat the words at me. "I heard."

"That's what woke you up?" I understood now. All the conflicting emotions were Dimitri's not mine.

"Partially," his glare softened slightly then disappeared altogether. "I cannot be mad at you for the same thing I just did. But Rose, the thought of you dying affects me the same way."

I sighed and rested my face in my hands for a moment. "I know that," I looked back into his deep brown eyes, "I just have to protect you and if I have to put you on suicide watch I will."

"It'd be worth it if you were the one watching me," Dimitri smiled one of those rare full smiles and my heart stopped.

I couldn't help but laugh, "As if I would let anyone else babysit you."

"Good." More of the color had returned to Dimitri's skin, as he slowly sat up more in the bed, I was glad to see he was returning to normal.

I stood up from the chair and leaned closer to him so I could move some hair from his face. "I'm guessing the blood helped wake you up as well."

"Yes," a troubled look crossed his face and he gently grabbed my arm that was closest to his face. "You cut yourself," he examined my wrist and before I could protest, healed it.

"You know I hate it when you waste your strength on me."

He looked me in the eyes and smiled, "I am strong because of you."

I ran my fingers through his hair and sighed, "I should get your doctor."

"But I don't want you to go."

I leaned down and kissed him one last time. "I love you and I'll still be here when the doctor's release you to go home. I promise, I'll be the one taking care of you."

"I like the sound of that."

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><p>"So what do we do now?" It seemed like a stupid question, but a reasonable one coming from Tatiana who looked at me as we sat once again in the same room we devised our last strategy in.<p>

"Dimitri has to come with me," I said flat out. "There is no way I am leaving him again."

"I agree," Tatiana nodded.

"As do I," Mikhail too agreed. "However there is the problem of transportation."

"Viktor's going to know exactly where we go from here if we leave by air or on the ground I am certain of that." I said knowing full well that I spoke the truth. With Lissa and Adrian in the medical wing attending to Dimitri only Abe, Tatiana, Sydney, Mikhail, and I were in attendance of the meeting.

"What about the tunnels?" Abe suggested.

"The ancient ones?" Tatiana sounded surprised. "No one has gone through them in ages. Hardly anyone remembers they even exist."

"That's perfect," I smiled triumphantly. "How far do they travel and to where do they lead?"

"There are hundreds of them. They can lead at least 200 miles from Court. The olden Royals used them as safe passages in and out of Court to avoid Strigoi." The Queen explained.

"Is there anyway Viktor could know about them?" Mikhail asked.

"Yes, but there is one that none but the King or Queen has knowledge of. It leads-"

"From the throne room out into the forest and then further out in to the human world." I finished her sentence as I remembered running through the tunnel as a little girl.

Tatiana smiled, "It seems I am mistaken."

A small smiled appeared on my faces as I remembered playing with Dimitri in the throne room and hiding in the tunnels from Olena. Such happy times. One day I hoped we could be that happy and carefree again.

"Good, the exit strategy is settled. Sydney, please find a new location and we will review it tomorrow when Dimitri is well enough to join us. Until then you are all dismissed."

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><p>I heard the door being unlocked and smiled as I put the finishing touches on the table. It wasn't every night I had a real excuse to spend the night at the Belikov manor so I wanted this to be special. Adrian was helping Dimitri down the hall when I walked out of the kitchen, "I can take him from here. Thank you Adrian."<p>

"Of course, little Dhampir," he kissed my forehead which caused Dimitri's jealousy to spike and me to laugh. "Now if you will excuse me, I have my own romantic night planned." Adrian patted Dimitri on the back and then hurried down the hall to the front door.

"Why didn't you come get me?" Dimitri asked as we heard Adrian shut the door.

I took his hand and lead him to the kitchen, "Because I was busy with this."

We entered the kitchen and Dimitri gasped. I had taken the time to make his favorite black bread like Olena had taught me along with beef stroagnov that I had googled how to make but I was never going to admit that. I didn't light any candles and all the lights were on, but I hoped it was still romantic enough for him. "Roza it's perfect."

We ate slowly and he filled me in on some political things I had missed. Apparently my bondmate had taken a firm stand for Dhampir rights and openly stated he believed that they should have the same rights as a Moroi. "Now why would you do that?" I teased.

"I guess there's this one Dhampir girl that I have been quite taken with. She's beautiful, smart, successful, incredibly sexy, she puts up with me twenty four seven, and did I mention she's attractive? Oh, and she's wonderful at cooking meals that she researched on the internet."

I blushed and smiled as I looked down at my food, "Sometimes I hate that you can hear my thoughts so easily."

"Yes, but it makes me love you even more," his hand tilted my chin up so I look at him. "This was perfect and I love you so much."

"I love you too," I stood and took his hand. Together we went up to his room and spent the rest of the night just talking and reminiscing in the past. I don't know what it was but something about just laying with Dimitri on his bed as he held me made everything so clear to me. I truly was in love with him. I was in love with Dimitri Belikov, not the name but the person he was. He was incredible and he loved me so much that it was impossible for me not to love him back. We didn't have to make love every night for us to be happy, we had waited months so one night was not so hard. Right now in his arms, was all the love I would ever need. Somehow just holding me Dimitri made me believe that we would have a happy ending and I loved him for that. Tonight I chose to forget everything outside of just us. Tonight Viktor did not exist. Tonight it was just Dimitri and Rose, two people in love.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry, I know it's not much I really appreciate all the reviews and I wanted to update at least a little so y'all knew I wasn't ignoring my story!<strong>


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